Category Archives: People

Unraveling My Purpose

Dec 3, 2018

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In the dream of heaven, you completely surrender to life, knowing that everything is just the way it is. And because you accept everything as it is, you no longer worry about anything. Your life becomes exciting because there’s no more fear. You know that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, and that everything that has happened was meant to happen because they have led you to greater awareness. Even the worst thing that can happen to you is meant to happen because it’s going to push you to grow. – Don Miguel Ruiz

Adjusting to Spain has been easy, but I can’t the same say in regard to having no local support system. While I enjoy the presence of my fellow volunteers, it is exhausting to constantly be around individuals with journeys that do not align with mine. I mean, I’m a 23 year-old who is ready for a more serious part of her life, while the other volunteers are 18 years-old and dying to finally have some control over their own lives. This is 100% natural! I’m only mentioning it because I want all future travelers to know that it is okay to feel like the outsider of a group, to realize that who you are may not fit into the group’s agenda. Raising our awareness and respect for others is the best thing we can do for ourselves in these situations. Be social when you can but also honor the moments when your body tells you you’ve had enough for the day. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you. I promise.

On a different note, Spain has been treating me extremely well. From time to time I reflect on the Lumos catch phrase, “Travel with a purpose.” My purpose has unraveled little by little each week, but I’ll wait till the end to share that with you. I will say that my Spanish has improved significantly. I’ve let the children I work with correct my Spanish. For 5-7 year-olds, they are pretty intelligent. Mind you, some of them are from different countries and have to learn Spanish, Valenciana, Castellano, and English! These little sponges are way smarter than I was at their age! After 23 years, I can finally hold a conversation with my Abuela (grandmother) back home and it warms my heart. Common now!

I’m impressed with the way the teachers work with the children. In my experience, I have never seen so many teachers treat their “wild” students with so much love and patience. I love it! I’m so use to watching teachers get frustrated with these types of students. I have the utmost respect for these kinds of teachers because they volunteer the best parts of them. I first heard this idea from a college professor of mine in NY. He said, “I get paid to teach you. It doesn’t matter how I teach you because I still get a pay check. But if I expect you to learn, that means I have to volunteer my best self.” He then went on expressing how fed up he was with teachers who don’t get personal with their students; but I digress.

As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, these children come from all over the world and they are all from lower income families. Additionally, the teachers in this school all have fair skin, while the students vary from tan, to brown, to black. Now, I am only mentioning this because I have observed the teacher-student relationships. I have yet to see one teacher pick on a student for their race or ethnicity, or looks for that matter. Not one teacher favors one group of students more than the other. This may not be true for all of the schools in Spain, but I recognize the genuine love and respect that these teachers have for each of their students. I’ve watched some of the children struggle with accepting that not everyone looks like them. Little fights break out here and there, but the teachers are always there to set a good example. They always tell the kids, “It doesn’t matter what you look like. I’m no better than anyone here. We are all a team and we have to respect one another and love one another equally.” It’s beautiful, necessary, and powerful because there are plenty of schools in the world that don’t adhere to this belief. Also, this is a crucial developmental stage in a child’s life. I comforted and honored to work in an environment that takes their role seriously. My mind screams, “Family!” every time I think about it.

Oh, and speaking of family – my soul sister and her fiance came to visit me in Spain! What? Do y’all understand how excited I was to see a familiar face? This is a woman that I look up to. We are about 9 years apart, she is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (the profession I am going into), and she is one of the individuals who sparked my new life journey back in 2015. Needless to say, she is very special to me.

We took tourism to a whole other level. I spent a day and a half with them in Valencia just catching up on life! I then spent another day and a half meeting them in Barcelona, where we saw about 6 amazing sights within 5 hours. Crazy, I know but it was amazing. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything!

*Side note* Spain’s trains are not cheap and the U.S. dollar does not work in our favor here, at least not right now.

Okay, back to it!

I purposely spent a day in a half in Barcelona because I knew I’ll be returning during Christmas time, which is three weeks away. Again, what? Where is the time going? Soon I’ll be meeting family that I’ve only ever known through social media. Am I blessed? Yes. Oh, and then my boyfriend is coming to visit for the remainder of the break! When I signed up for this trip I thought I was going to be solo. Thankful is an understatement! It’s a peace of mind to know I have these events to look forward to, especially after the emotional and physical fiasco my body went through prior to the GRE, which I am so glad is over by the way!

I went m.i.a. the day before the test. I did not have the energy to talk to anyone. I was overwhelmed and had knots in my stomach. I can’t express enough my dislike for these types of tests; a test that measures absolutely nothing about who I am and what I am capable of doing. I process things at a slower pace and I need time to grasp concepts. I learn better through writing and discussing the material rather than memorizing it for the sake of getting a good grade. It doesn’t align well with who I am. Nevertheless, I still gave my best on test day, and luckily I don’t get nervous once a test is in front of me. I accept the moment, I breathe, and I do what I can.

When the day of the test arrived, I had to travel three hours on train from Valencia, Spain to Madrid. During that time I had journaled to myself. In that journal entry I wrote:

...You did your best. You will do your best. You challenged yourself. You rose to the occasion. Be proud. Smile. Feel love. Be love. Be.

After writing, I let go of all the pressure I had placed on myself. Once I arrived in Madrid, I spent an hour in a coffee shop catching up on some reading. As I drank my delicious mocha coffee and ate my cinnamon bun soaked in Nutella, I came across the passage in the beginning of this blog. I had chills, y’all! I felt at such peace with myself. My world aligned again and I was ready for whatever was to come.

Taking the GRE in a different country was probably the best decision for me. It felt more relaxing to be amongst individuals from different parts of the world. I can’t explain it, it just felt good. At the end of it all, I can honestly say I am content and EXTREMELY thankful for the experience. Oh, I’m also thankful that it’s over! Out of sight and out of mind!

I called everything post-GRE “The journey back to myself.” Between being sick and stressed out about the test, I definitely fell out of touch with myself. I needed to socialize, start working out, and do more sight seeing. This was my new mission. To hold myself accountable, I began writing a list titled, “What do I want to accomplish today?” I would even list something as simple as waking up, which is a great accomplishment for anyone. As someone who is active in the mental health community, I find it extremely beneficial to notice all the “small” things. This type of mindfulness is powerful because things such as waking up can be a difficult task, especially for those like myself who battle depression. It helps reprogram the brain in more ways than one. For me, it sends a message to my brain that everything I do matters. It reminds me to be impeccable with my words and my actions, especially towards myself. It’s a reminder to never feel less than or shrink at the presence of challenging situations.

So, yeah. All is well my friends. I am learning, growing, and embracing this journey that I am on. I wouldn’t change a thing about this experience.

Talk to you soon,

Rachel

Life Beyond the Vines

P.S. Enjoy the pics! There are some things that don’t need to be put into words. A picture can say it all.

Expect the Unexpected

Nov 13, 2018

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*Leaves the U.S. with a week old cold and no medicine.*

Me: I’m fine. It’s just my body re-adjusting to this Northern weather.

*Arrives in Spain with flat mates who are also sick.*

It’s fine. I’ll just clean, eat really healthy, and drink some tea.

*Has Bronchitis during second week in Spain.*

“I’m so tired. I’m dyinnnggggg. I can’t sleep. Ahhhh!”

*Goes to a doctor in Spain – Begins 3^rd week in Spain.*

See, I knew it’d pass. (Meanwhile I’m on steroids and antibiotics and two other prescriptions).

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I am overwhelmed at the pace of life right now. On the 19^th of November I’ll be on my way to Madrid to take the GRE. A part of me is anxious because I’ve been extremely sick and unproductive these last two weeks (at least in my eyes). Yet, I’ve given my best along the way and the other half of me is a bit more understanding. Nevertheless, I am still trying to jump into a healthy routine and it’s already my 3^rd week here. Trying to reach my normal energy level has been a challenge. I can’t wait to finally feel 100%!

Anyways, let me fill you in on my two-week journey thus far.

As my mini-dialogue expressed, I’ve been sick since the week before I left for Spain. This made my departure from the U.S. quite interesting. My flight from Newark, NJ to Charlotte, NC was just fine. At this point I could deal with my sniffles. However, traveling grew more painful as the day went on. On my eight-hour flight to Madrid, I was lucky enough to have an entire row to myself. Yes, I sprawled out across four seats during the entire flight. I wish my body would have let me fall asleep on that flight, but instead it kept reminding me of how sick I felt. By the time I reached Madrid the next morning, I was EXHAUSTED. Oh, how I wished I could have been in Valencia already. Instead, I spent seven hours in the Madrid airport. The “best” part of it all was getting lost and having to check back in with customs. Ha! I was a walking zombie. I could not even process what was going on. I remember facetiming my boyfriend and tearing up because I was past the point of exhaustion. I did my best to stretch, read, play music, and keep my mind busy. Unfortunately, my immune system said, “Sorry girl. I’m clocking out,” and it did.

I was beyond grateful to have finally reached Valencia, Spain. Sleep was the number one thing on my mind, but it was not the first thing that I was able to do. Instead, I bonded with my flat-mates and fellow volunteers. They have been such a sweet, fun, and lively group of individuals. A few of them are from Germany, one is from Switzerland, another from Poland, and another is from Washington State. I was surprised to find out that I was the oldest in the group. I expected to volunteer with a variety of ages. Instead, they’re all 18 years-old, straight out of high school, ready to drink and party. Then there’s me, your 23-year-old nanny and college graduate, who’s ready for bed by 11:00 p.m. I suppose our priorities are just a tad different, but that’s okay! I’ve enjoyed working and growing with them these past two weeks.

However, in regard to my health, these past two weeks have been a fiasco. The medicine I picked up from the pharmacy was 100% ineffective. My body was not having it but I still tried to stay active during my first week in Spain. From bicycle rides to the beach, to joining the other volunteers on early afternoon excursions, I pushed through it all. I even joined them on Halloween night.

Side note: the night I learned that Valencia parties until 7:00 a.m. Can you imagine my face when I was told this? My jaw dropped and I shook my head. I was used to my own family parties lasting until 3:00 a.m. in the morning, but 7:00 a.m. Excuse me, what? New York City, you are not the only city that never sleeps. I can’t hang and I’m not ashamed!

I digress. Anyways, my cold escalated and turned into bronchitis. I grew miserable. My energy and moral was low. I was coughing so much that my sweet elderly neighbor Keke knocked on my door to make sure I was okay. I cried. I was so tired of being sick and I missed having my loved ones around. I’ve also been anxious about the GRE and my college applications. My body needed time to relax and I was not giving it what it needed. It took me until the end of my second week here to finally go to the doctors. Four medications later and I’m slowly getting back to feeling like myself again.

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Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how the volunteer work has been. It’s been an amazing learning experience. In the two weeks I have been here, I have journaled endlessly about all the things I have learned, the things that I’d like to do, and the things I never knew. For example, I came across a video one day discussing the cons about certain volunteer trips. I was a bit disappointed at myself for not thinking twice about the matter. This was my response after watching the video:

It’s interesting to watch this now that I’m already on my “Travel with a Purpose,” scholarship. I’m glad that I came across this video because it raised a perspective that went unrecognized in my mind. If I’m being honest yes, I feel a built guilty after watching this video. However, I believe that video has added on and changed how I will spend my time here for that same reason. How can I give back in a way that will actually be helpful to the children I work with? That’s the question I’ll be asking myself everyday. If nothing else, I want to be a role model and help these children use their minds and embrace the process of learning and thinking for themselves. I wish I had the money to help the organizations here, but I can’t change their situation at the moment. But I can give them the tools they need to grow. The next couple of months will be filled with learning. I’m still thrilled to have this opportunity but even more thrilled to learn how to be a better advocate for the children here.Volunteer Tourism

The children I work with range from six to seven years old. Majority of them have come from different parts of the world, some from Africa, Pakistan, and South America. In the time that I’ve spent with them so far, I can tell that these children need structure, consistency, and better examples of of how to interact with different cultures work as a team. However, it’s been a challenge for me to maintain order in the class room while the teacher is gone. The children aren’t difficult to be around. What’s been difficult is trying to tell them to be quiet and sit down when all they want to do is hug, talk, and smile with me. It’s unfortunate that I’ve been sick for the first two weeks, but I am so grateful to have 3 months with these children. Week by week I’ll be learning more and hopefully adding to their activities and helping open their minds. Next week, I’ll be playing the ukulele for them!

Hopefully my blog post improve from here on out now that I am starting to feel better! Enjoy the photos! (If you click on the images they will automatically rotate themselves.) Technology can be weird sometimes.

I love you all.

Xoxo!

Wish me luck on my last week of reviewing for the GRE. Been studying since May (on and off) will I ever feel ready?

Last Day in the U.S.A (Until 2019)

Oct 26, 2018

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My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. – Maya Angelou

More than a month ago I compared myself to the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I was hustling and rushing to get everything done. Can you imagine what the end result was? Ha, let me tell you.

From September 28th through October 13th, I tried to check everything off my to-do list, from packing and sending e-mails, to studying and saying my goodbyes. Just when I thought I covered all my bases, I realized I had dropped the ball on obtaining my Spain Visa earlier this summer. I thought I still had time to contact the embassy and Spain consulate in the U.S. Clearly. I knew I needed a visa to stay in the Schengen area for more than 90 days. I had contacted both the D.C. and N.Y. consulates via e-mail, in hopes that they would be able to answer some of my questions, but they did not. After informing them of the steps I had taken, they shut me down before I could ask my questions. Who’s to blame? Me. Life moved extremely fast this summer and I shouldn’t have underestimated this process. Everything about that experience screams, “First time traveler.” But that’s alright, I accepted my mistake and made the necessary adjustments after. As the singer Aaliyah cantered, “If at first you don’t succeed, you can dust yourself off and try again.”

On a more personal note, saying good bye to my Nashville family was not easy. The day I left Nashville, I was with my boyfriend Trevor and holy cow did I cry! I knew I was going to. I live in the moment and when the emotions roll in, I let them come full force so that I don’t let them linger any longer than they have to. I cry because I love deeply. I don’t know what tomorrow may bring but I do know I am loved and I value every moment I share with others.

Now, the driving part was actually easier than I expected. It was a road trip party for 1. I drove 10 hours to Washington D.C. to see my childhood best friend Bella. The next morning finished the last 4 hours of my drive. Since then I’ve been seeing family and friends non-stop. Studying for the GRE was not a thing these last two weeks, but that’s okay. When I look back at my life at least I know that I prioritized the things that matter most to me. It’s important for me to be around my loved ones because we have such a unique relationship. Plus, I know that I’m a hard-working, driven individual. I may not know what lies ahead, but I know it will be rewarding.

Everyone asks me if I’m excited or nervous for this trip. My response is, “Neither.” I’m more curious than anything. My social and cultural upbringing, along with my life experiences, have prepared me for this trip. It’s going to be a new experience, a new world, a new life style, and I am prepared for this new journey. It’s going to be challenging but that’s the point; I want to be pushed out of my comfort zones. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. I am beyond thankful for this Lumos scholarship. The journey continues my loves.

Follow my blog account on Instagram for more photos and posts of my journey! @lifebeyondthevines.

Con cariño,

Rachel Mercedes Beihl

P.S. I am 100% balling my eyes out tomorrow when I say goodbye to my parents. (:

Baadae Africa

Aug 2, 2018

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September 23, 2017

I didn’t realize saying goodbye to Tanzania would be this hard. The airplane just took off from Dar and my eyes filled with tears. When I first landed in Africa I was actually pretty scared and worried from everything I had been told and I was hesitant to officially step off the plane once it landed; however, now as I’m leaving I don’t want the wheels on the plane to go off the ground.

How is it possible that I came as a stranger but left with so many rafikis? Even though these friends may be on the other side of the globe once I’m back in America, they’re still lifelong friends. There’s a connection that is formed when you travel to a new place and befriend the people there. Your friendship accelerates a million times more and the bond you share is so special. I feel that way about all of the people that I met through Work the World and all of the amazing people that actually live in Tanzania.

I just don’t know how to put into words the people that are in Tanzania. They are such beautiful people with such amazing hearts. I’m going to miss walking by the shoe maker Sharkan and the painter Mirajisekulamba every morning when I would go into work and would get back from work. They were always there with a grin on their face shouting, “Maji, mabo?!” I’m going to miss all the phrases and speaking in Swahili and my dear Swahili teacher, Jacob. I’m also going to miss all of the Swahili food and Swahili music/dancing. I’m going to miss knowing so many of the nurses, nursing students, and doctors throughout the various units and how great of friends we all became. Like going on weekend adventures with Florida or going to Jane’s house for dinner and church with her beautiful family. I’m going to miss everyone from Work the World like Mo, Jesca, Edito, Faraja, Beda, Naama, and all the security men. I could write an entire book on everything they’ve done for me. They always asked about my day and were there for me all the time! Jesca went to the hospital with me every time I had to go for my dressing change. I’m going to miss seeing my waiters at the local restaurants and how they’d always hug me and knew me by name. Amos and Maraja were my two favorites. Amos would always make me a special smoothie at the Red Tomato before it closed down and then he moved to Salty’s where I ate my last meal in Tanzania and he waited on me. I’m going to miss our talks about his sweet wife and family and his commute every day. Maraja worked at Shooters and every Thursday when everyone would go celebrate he always chose a special dessert for me. My favorite was the Mississippi Mud Pie. When I had my job interview for Vanderbilt and had to use the wifi at Shooters he helped get me a spot and accommodated me so sweetly.

This was today when I was saying goodbye to everyone.

Everyone, meet Mo. My bomba, bomba rafiki. Love this man.

Meet Sharkan! The shoemaker! He made me and my friends back home several shoes. I’ll never be able to forget his kindness and face.

Meet Mirajisekulamba! The painter. He and the shoe maker worked right next to one another. He always gave me a hard time for not being able to say his name perfectly, hahaha. He also painted me many beautiful paintings for my loved ones back home.

This is Faraja. One of the chefs in the house. He has a heart of chocolate. Sweet and pure.

Maraja! He was the waitor at Shooter’s and my beautiful friend Dianne.

I’m going to miss how everyday was so different at the hospital and I never knew which new friend I was going to make next! It was always an adrenal rush. I’m actually going to miss the crazy dala dala and bijaji rides too! Even though every time I would get in a mode of transportation here I was scared for my life because of how people drive here. Gotta love no street rules.

Moreover, I’m going to miss going to the local market and bargaining for every item so you don’t get mzungu price. I’ll miss all my friends there too (they literally knew me by name because of how many times I have been souvenir shopping… If only you could’ve seen me at the airport: 2 large suitcases, one backpack, one long side purse that looked like Mary Poppins handbag because of its depth, and my purse!) I wanted to make sure I was able to get everyone at least something from Africa! I wish I could bring all my loved ones here so they could just see how spectacular it truly is.

I’m simply going to miss the way of life in Tanzania with how people live. The people in Dar truly humbled me and I just don’t know how I could ever pay it back. If I had to say what my favorite part of Africa was it would 100% be the people and culture. I’m so grateful to be able to say that I have a family in Tanzania.

In addition, there are two things that have really been on mind over the last few weeks. What is it going to be like going back into a Western country when I’ve gotten so use to life here? Lastly, what am I supposed to do from here? I’ve seen all of these things and my heart and eyes have been opened to so much. My biggest fear is simply going back to the western world and have Africa just be a memory. Africa is literally like a different world. How am I supposed to connect these two worlds that I know? What am I meant to do from here in terms of helping the health care system in Africa? Change is made by many little steps and it takes a long time. However, nothing will happen unless we fight for that change.

Halfway home:

I am being overwhelmed with thoughts as I am hopping from airplane to airplane getting closer to returning to America. My first flight from Dar to Switzerland I cried the entire time. The lady I sat beside was actually a retired nurse who use to work at Muhimbli. We had such a great conversation. Her family owns a little pastry shop in the city market. She must have thought I was emotionally unstable though because all I would do when we weren’t talking is just stare at the seat in front of me and let the tears roll down my face. For 8 hours I did that. All the memories flashing in my mind and the fear of returning. I’m not sure why it is a fear. I am just worried this will only be a memory. How do I connect the two worlds? People in both of my worlds aren’t connected and I am anxious with how I will convey with everyone everything I experienced. It is honestly impossible. You just have to experience it yourself. No matter how many times you talk about it or how many pictures you show it doesn’t do it justice. I feel like I will be beating a dead horse and won’t be able to relate to what I once called home. Ignorance is truly bliss.

One thing that has been on my mind is how easy it is to simply come and go for Americans. A lot of people in Africa may never be able to come to America based on restrictions we have. It’s sad that most of the people I know will never go to Africa because of the “unknown” and stories that have been told. On the flip side, most of my rafikis in Tanzania won’t be able to come to the states due to money as well as restrictions we have set forth. It just makes me upset these two amazing worlds won’t get to meet or come into contact. It is something that I am internally struggling with.

Lastly, since I have begun my trip back home a few things have stood out to me. There is ACTUAL A/C, mzungus are everywhere, there is no body odor, there is actual Wi-Fi and proper electricity, there is toilet paper in the bathrooms, and there are no bugs anywhere. All the paint in the buildings is nicely done and there’s no dirt anywhere. It’s funny to me how these things never really stood out to me in Dar. I just accepted them. However, now that I am reacclimating into Western society they are extremely apparent. I am at the airport in Geneva right now and my next stop will be Chicago. From there I will be NASHVILLE BOUND! Yay. Very bitter sweet.

Enkosi S-CAPE!

Jun 6, 2018

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THE MOTHER CITY

It has been about a week since returning home, and I am still at a loss of words for what this experience has done in me. I have been putting off writing this because I don’t think I have the words yet to convey what I truly feel inside. People keep asking how the trip was, and I suppose I should have formulated a better answer, but all I can muster is “it was incredible!” I have been thinking a lot about the limits of language and pondering how to express these inexplicable feelings of the purest love, joy, peace and hope I have experienced. My time at S-CAPE taught me, just as Thistle Farms proclaims, that love heals! There is truly no other force greater than the power of love. I feel incredibly grateful to have witnessed the transformation of women by love. To see others glimpse their worth and begin to walk into their fullness, something I too struggle to do everyday. I am crying as I write this sipping my tea at Thistle Farms because it truly feels like a dream. But this is what heaven on earth looks like, and this is my heart for the whole world, to glimpse and walk into this life of love and service to each other.

My project itself looked a bit different than I anticipated, but I am very thankful for that because it was the things I had not planned on that changed me the most. The goals I had for my five months at S-CAPE included grant writing, working on sustainable business/entrepreneurship projects with the women, assisting with fundraising, and running workshops. I did indeed work in all of those areas along with many others.

I submitted a grant we are still waiting to hear back on, and compiled a detailed grant application and all supporting documents that S-CAPE can use in the future.

My sustainable business project manifested more as an entrepreneurship skills training for the residents. We received a large donation of old costume jewelry, so we used that along with other avenues to develop our entrepreneurship skills. We began by talking about budgeting, marketing, how to set up an email and how to keep track of revenue and expenses, which we worked on during my workshop time. Each of the residents designed their own brand for the jewelry and I printed labels for them to retag the jewelry with. We discussed revenue and expenses, along with loans and how to grow a business. The residents each received 20 sets of earrings, bracelets and necklaces as “seed funding” per say. They reworked the items, retagging them and fixing any broken pieces. We then went to local markets to sell the jewelry at and to learn about our target market. That was probably the most challenging aspect of the project for several reasons. First of all, culturally it was very different. I did not know that the best time to sell at markets is on the second and last weekend of the month because that is when payday is. Secondly, finding markets that actually fit our target population was difficult. We tended to sell at flea markets, or cheaper, family oriented markets (because we had a lot of kids jewelry) due to the nature of our product. In my head, I wanted Thistle Farm’s quality products, I wanted to be in all the local stores, at the bougie markets where people with lots of disposable income shop, etc, but at this time that is not feasible. There are two values I held very closely, the first being that I wanted to women to feel empowered selling their product, thus when we went to market, these women were not victims of human trafficking but business women. Secondly, I wanted this project to be culturally relevant and be in line with the goals of the residents. And because of this, entrepreneurship skills training seemed to be a better fit than trying to create a business in my short time there without someone to hand it over too when I left. We were also very short staffed so inevitably the neverending list of day to day activities of running the organization and keeping up with the Department of Social Development’s standards so we can retain our recently increased funding would take precedence over this baby social enterprise. All this being said, the final phase of the project is that the women have the option to buy a box of jewelry (and there is A LOT of jewelry in each box) for a low price so that they can continue selling jewelry when they leave the safe house if they enjoyed it. The women also learned to make lip balm which we sold and used in the goodie bags at our fundraiser. Finally, the women learned to knit and made a plethora of beanies and scarves that they also sold. There certainly is an entrepreneurial spirit in the ladies I worked with. Everytime someone new came to the safe house for a workshop, or they went to church, they would take some of their product to sell. It was really powerful and encouraging to see how empowered and at ease they were when selling.

Lip balm we made for the fundraiser!

Fundraising wise, I did help the part time fundraising coordinator in the acquisition of vouchers for our big fundraiser. I helped create a sponsorship inquiry letter in an effort to get corporate sponsors that will donate a certain amount of say, food, each month to help keep our cost low at the safe house. That is something really amazing about Cape Town, people are so willing to help, all you have to do is ask!

What I treasured the most though in my work is the amount of time I got to spend with the residents. From long days at the clinic and home affairs, to workshops and outings, to covering house mother shifts and long car rides, some of my sweetest memories have been in the conversations I had with the women who taught me how to hold great love and great suffering, to embody joy, love, hope and peace while simultaneously holding the tensions and pain of the world and my life. I miss each of them dearly, and I can hear their laughs in my head right now and them imitating my most used line, “what is happening here folks?”

In the sweetest birthday card and words I have ever received (I am not exaggerating), one of the residents wrote that I was like Esther, and God sent me to bring joy into their lives during a very tough and sorrowful season. I immediately started to weep and told them that I felt the same way about them. Again, there are no words to convey the feeling I have when I think about the past five months. The only way I can describe it is feeling fully alive. I experienced and felt love in a way that made me simultaneously want to laugh and cry. Like my insides were the sun and my body a stain glass window. My deepest desire is to reflect the love and joy and hope and peace of Christ through this stain glass window of this wonderful human abode. I break so more light can be let out and heal so that the colors turn into even more magnificent and mystical hues.

And on that note, I feel it appropriate to share that this is not the end of my journey with S-CAPE!!! It has been made abundantly clear (which I would love to elaborate on in person) that it is where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. So, Lord willing, I will be returning to the Mother City in January 2019 for a more long term commitment to the work of S-CAPE! And the will of God is a tricky phrase, but I do believe it is the Lord’s will, if by the will of God we mean as, Thomas Merton says “the will of God is not a ‘fate’ to which we submit but a creative act in our life producing something absolutely new . . . something hitherto unforeseen by the laws and established patterns. Our cooperation (seeking first the Kingdom of God) consists not solely in conforming to laws but in opening our wills out to this creative act which must be retrieved in and by us.” I am VERY excited for what is to come, and the real challenge is trying to be present in this season and figure out what the next few months mean, as my “five year plan” has drastically changed. But I have a great deal of peace, because I trust the direction I am journeying in now is exactly where I am supposed to be.

On one of my last weeks in Cape Town, I got up to walk on the beach for sunrise as had become my morning ritual. I was feeling a lot of dissonance, doubt, sorrow about leaving and confusion for what the next six months will hold. I was walking towards where the sun was supposed to be rising, but there was a thick layer of dark clouds so I turned around to walk back down the beach because it appeared I wouldn’t see the sun glide over the mountaintops this dreary morning. I was walking and looked up at the mountains in front of me, the greatest contemplatives of all creation as O’Donahue says, and I felt this still, small voice say “Behold, I am doing a new thing” and something in me decided to turn around to look back at the sun and it was the most magnificent sight. Rays of bright light were breaking through the dark clouds and I just had to laugh at the awe and wonder of the inexplicable mystery of God. I don’t know what this new thing is, but I know I walked home that morning with an insurmountable peace about the uncertain future.

Pictures cannot do it justice!! Behold, I am doing a new thing.

I am not sure how to neatly tie together the wild, life altering, better than I ever imagined adventure that the past five months has been. I am forever indebted to the Lumos committee for receiving this opportunity, indebted to S-CAPE for inviting me back and indebted to the women who loved me so well and taught me so much. This experience has cultivated a deeper compassion, love and authentic joy in my soul and I am very excited to share more about my time at S-CAPE with everyone here in Nashville. Stay tuned for how you can maybe partner with me and the work with S-CAPE in the future too 😉

Enkosi (thank you in Xhosa) for reading and trekking along with me on this journey. May we live with a deeper understanding of ubuntu, that I cannot be fully me without you, and wake up to the beauty and gift that is the inescapable network of mutuality connecting all beings everywhere.

Friends from around the world

Last sunset 🙁

My flatmate, hero, German teacher, co worker and dear friend, Lina.

Bye’s, Belmont in Africa & Birthday’s!

May 14, 2018

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I am down to my last two weeks in Cape Town and I have not come to terms with the fact that I actually have to leave. I am in sheer denial.

Waited two years to see the view from Table Mountain on a clear day!

“Justice is what love looks like in public” Cornel West

The last week has been filled with many exciting and bittersweet things! Two of our residents left the safe house, and that is not an easy process for any of us. One left under less than ideal circumstances, however it was best for the safety and well being of all involved. The other had decided she wanted to return home, and even though we wish she would have stayed longer to process and work through some things, she left with grace and joy, and we had a proper farewell filled with lots of laughter, tears and faith that her time with us was enough. One thing that was echoed during her farewell, and the farewell of others, was the love she experienced and how it was unlike anything she had ever known. And that is the heart of S-CAPE and the heart of each of us who work here. Love is not a scarce resource, though society, and many of our circumstances and experiences, would like to tell us otherwise. On the contrary, love is the essence of all things. It the essence of our being, of God, of the Gospel. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. Few places and times in my life has love been so tangible as it is as S-CAPE. The other place that sticks out in my mind is Thistle Farms, and I am not surprised. It seems that humble, honest, hopeful communities of imperfect people pursuing wholeness and living life together are the breeding ground for sanctuaries of love and acceptance. At S-CAPE and Thistle Farms, and I would venture to say places like the Simple Way and L’Arche, there is a spirit of ubuntu that runs deep and wide, that I am not me without you, and until we are all free, none of us are free. I am so thankful to be apart of the S-CAPE family, and lifetime of learning what it means to love in the way of Jesus. So to all the residents who have said they had never experienced a love like this, well neither had I.

Some other exciting events that occurred this week were that the Belmont in Africa Maymester arrived and I got to tag along with them!! It is such an out of body experience seeing my University, some friends and one of the most formative professors in my collegiate experience here in Cape Town. It has been a long time since I have been around so many Americans! It was exciting to get to re-experience some of my favorite places through the excitement of the students on that Maymester. I also got to share with some of the students about what I am doing here and my favorite places in Cape Town and that was very special for me.

#BelmontinAfrica round2!! Where is the #hashflag

Finally, it was my birthday! My second South African birthday! I turned 22 on May 13 and it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!! My sweet friends know I love surprises, and so they did just that, surprised me with all my favorite things. The day started at Jeremy’s (the Belmont in Africa tour guide and my adopted South African father/mentor/friend/life changer) church and we had proper African worship. Then my friend picked us up and took me, my friend from Belmont (who was on the study abroad) and my flat mate to Paarl!! It was magical. We did a chocolate tasting with all fair trade, organic, ethically sourced and produced chocolate (of course), we petted GOATS!!!! And it is truly amazing how much goats smell like goat cheese (or vice versa). Then we went to a lion and chimpanzee sanctuary, two of my favorite animals!!!! And finally we ended up at my favorite market, Root 44 in Stellenbosch and I ate the spiciest curry of my life. And to end the day, we hiked my favorite mountain, Lion’s Head at sunset. I celebrated with friends from around the world, at my favorite place in the world, it was truly a dream come true.

“It’s my birthday!”-Burno Mars” -Madison Barefield

Friends from around the world!

Paarl!!!

little bokkie!

Today I went for a walk on the beach as I do when I need to process, and I was reminded of the necessity of cultivating an attitude of gratitude. I keep say that I never want the beauty all around me and the joy of my work to become “normal.” I want to always be surprised, thankful, amazed at the miracle that is life. I want to recognize every ordinary moment as extraordinary, and every encounter as one with the Divine. There is so much beauty and hope in the world, we must just open our eyes to the magic happening around us all the time.

I still have a lot of work I want to finish over my next two weeks, like submitting a big grant, helping with some last minute fundraising planning before our event and taking the residents on some special outings. People keep asking me if I am excited to go home, and as much as I miss my family and friends, Cape Town is my home! It is going to be very difficult to transition back to so much comfort, as strange as that sounds. As Miriam Adeney said, “you will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That’s the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

I screamed when I saw this....chicken feet...apparently is lekker...

Holiday week!

Mar 31, 2018

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It is turning into autumn here in Cape Town! Quite a strange experience to celebrate Easter as the leaves start to change colors, the air gets cooler and the days are a bit shorter. Although, South Africa doesn’t change their clocks, so sunrise keeps getting later, but sunset gets later as well, how crazy!

My friend from Belmont came to visit me this past week. We studied abroad here together about two years ago and she too fell in love with this beautiful country. So I am having a little holiday in the middle of my project which has been so fun and extremely refreshing. Although I have taken a week off of work, I have continued to learn so much about the diversity and beauty of South Africa.

Our adventure started last Friday, I picked her up from the airport and the next morning we left for a four day stint on the Garden Route, which is perhaps the most incredible drive of my life. We stopped in Knysna and slept in a treehouse and had a braai with the owners of our Air B&B. We talked travel experiences, culture, politics, religion, and it was fascinating and thought provoking. Most of them had been alive, albeit young, yet still remember apartheid, so I am always curious as to what that was like for them, and their opinions of what South Africa is like now. It was also interesting to hear how some of them felt about our president and government. And thankfully, many of the conversations ended in “agree to disagree” but were fruitful and enjoyable nonetheless.

Knysna Heads!

The next morning, we drove up to a lookout point over the Knysna Heads, the two mountains that help create the Knysna lagoon, and it was simply the most stunning view! And when we thought it could not get any more beautiful, we ended up in Robberg hiking one of the most magnificent trails through the mountains and down the sand dunes to a massive beach. We checked into our Air B&B, got some recommendations from our sweet host and headed to the beach to watch the sunset in Plettenberg Bay.

Robberg

Our last stop on the Garden Route was the most adorable and incredible town of Tsitsikamma. Situated in a forest with the mountains as your backdrop on one side, and the ocean on the other. We stopped at Bloukrans bridge, the largest bungee jump in the world (but thankfully we both had a mutual agreement that bungee jumping was not on our list of things we wanted to do). Instead, we opted for ziplining through the canopy. We had the best guides and the Tsitsikamma Canopy Tours is a fair trade tourism company, meaning their workers get paid a fair wage, they give a percentage of their income to forest preservation, education and a social enterprise restaurant that employs women from a local township. In all, they only keep about 43% of their profit, which was AMAZING and obviously was in sync with my heart for business for good.

Tsitsikamma National Forest

After ziplining, we headed to Tsitsikamma National Park and hiked to the suspension bridge and watched the sunset, then headed back to our glamping tent at the Tsitsikamma Backpackers Lodge. We slept in a tent under the stars and froze our faces off, but it was SO. FUN! The next morning we got up early, drove over to Nature’s Valley (home of the granola bar?), did a short hike up to a viewpoint to see Salt River Beach, then headed over to MONKEYLAND!!!!!! It is a primate sanctuary that rehabilitates monkeys that were in zoo’s, hurt in the wild, rescued from people’s homes, etc. We took an hour long meander through the woods and saw so many monkeys and lemurs. Monkey’s are my favorite animals so it was a dream come true to be so close to these amazing creatures!!!

Finally, our Garden Route stent had come to an end and we opted for the longer, more scenic R62 home. And it was worth every extra km. I have never seen anything quite as beautiful. It seemed like every thirty minutes we were in a new town with a new terrain, in a new temperatures, new mountains. One hour we were at a viewpoint overlooking lush green mountainsides, the next hour we were at a viewpoint overlooking mountains with red rocks that looked like they belonged in Arizona. We saw the most magnificent sunset somewhere about three hours outside Cape Town and honestly, all we could do was laugh at how absurdly beautiful South Africa is. We passed so many farms and little village towns (dorps) and kept asking what do the people do who live there! There is absolutely nothing for miles. I have realized, however, that most of the food I buy here says grown in South Africa, and after seeing the amount of farms and farm land, I believe it. I think that is so incredible that South Africa still feeds itself with so much local food, which is pretty much the opposite of America, and it is probably why the produce here taste so good!

Route 62!!!!

After an educational and adventurous four days, we are back in Cape Town. I got to show Alexa a bit of the work I am doing at the safe house, and she tagged along for one of my workshops with the women. We are hiking, reminiscing on our favorite spots from study abroad, and making memories in new places. Tomorrow is Easter and we are going to church and to have lunch with Jeremy (the guide for the Belmont in Africa Maymester) and his family! Every day just keeps getting better! It has been an amazing week getting to see some of South Africa that I have never seen before, and meet people from all over the world in new places. It is crazy how much of an impact people can have on you, even just knowing them for a few hours and it feels like you have been friends your whole life. Relationship is such a gift, and this week has given me a real taste of ubuntu.

UNREAL!

Bless the rains down in Africa!

Cape Town’s best kept secret

Simba vs. Yanga

Nov 4, 2017

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August 23rd

Today I really got an amazing cultural experience!!!

I went to not only a football (soccer) game in Tanzania but also my first one ever!

It was absolutely unbelievable! We took a bus and said we were with the U.K. embassy. This football game was so popular because of the teams playing so we had to tell a little lie to be able to be let in. We of course already prepaid for our tickets and everything. The President and Parliament were even there. Everyone in Tanzania LOVES football! The game was being broadcasted in Kenya, Uganda, everywhere! When you’re in Africa you literally feel like a celebrity simply because you’re white. We had a big bus take us to the game because everyone in the house went and three of the staff members so 23 total. When you have 20 mzungu’s (white, foreign people) people S T A R E.

When we walked into the stadium trying to get to our seats everyone stood up and started cheering for us. It was the funniest thing! Everyone was shouting at us cheering us on and taking pictures. I can’t even tell you the number of pictures that are of me on strangers phones. People would come up to you and put their arm around you and just take a photo. However, we ended up having to change our seats. The football games get extremely heated and especially these two teams because they are big rivalry teams. The crowd is literally splint amongst Simba fans and Yanga fans. For our safety we had to move because Yanga fans have the reputation to get a little bit rowdy. I was SO happy we did because I was wanting to root for Simba! Last year Yanga beat Simba so I always like to go for the underdog. Before the game it was really cool because people would come by with Polaroid cameras and take a photo of you. If you liked the photo you could buy it.

Random people would even come up to you to take a photo with you and buy it simply because we were white. There was a little boy (probably 9 years old) sitting beside Alex and I and he was at the game all by himself. The stadium was absolutely huge! It reminded me of a UT football game! I was amazed that this little fella was so brave to come to the game by himself!

The game was absolutely unbelievable!!! Both teams were playing so good and no one was scoring any points because of how good both teams offense and defense were. The game ended up going into overtime and then that tied so then it pretty much went into sudden death. I was so captivated and into the game! It was unbelievable! Luckily I was surrounded by my England friends so they were able to answer any questions I had about the football game!

And!!! Simba won! The fans went crazy!!!

They had these red explosives that were shooting off in the stands and everyone was going wild. However, Faraja (one of the men from Work the World) became very serious and told us to put our phones away. Supposedly people can get very out of control at football games and Faraja didn’t want any of us to get hurt or get anything stolen. As I looked down at the field I could see ambulance after ambulance and so many police officers. People from the other team were beating on Simba fans because of the win. Supposedly on game day if you walk near one of the sports clubs in the other teams colors you will get beaten and can even die. We got escorted out by police officers and made it safely on our bus. It was so cool seeing all the Simba fans prancing around fully hyped. One lady kept twerking on the hood of every car since we were in dead stop, bumper to bumper traffic. It took forever to get home but it was a bomba bomba game and one that I’ll always remember!

#TeamSimba

The Pink Ladies

Sep 18, 2017

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8/19/2017
I met these lovely ladies when I was back on the mental health ward. They just welcomed me with open arms at Muhimbili. They’re second year nursing students about to go into their third year! The day I went to the methadone clinic they were there as well. We talked for hours and hours and they invited me over to their student hostel after placement.

They made me feel at home and introduced me to all of their friends. We had dance parties and they did my hair. They showed my their rooms and we talked about our family and just life in general. How Africa differs to America. The various tribes they’re in. Even though we come from two different parts of the world we’re still so similar. They made me dinner as well. They invited me back another time and waited for me to get off of work. They made me even more food like maandazi, pilau, and tambi na maharage. Different ladies would make me various things and bring everything together for me to eat. I really love trying Swahili feed and eating it like they do, with your hands. They even bought me sugar cane juice from their mini store downstairs that’s for students.

This is Beatrice with dinner she made me in her room!

This dish in particular that Beatrice made was very interesting! It was sweet spaghetti noodles with beans.

I definitely have gone out of my comfort zone so many times here when it comes to food! Luckily, I haven’t gotten sick or anything from things yet!

During our various conversations I learned that they had never had a burger nor pizza. They explained to me that very few people in Tanzania have actually had “white people food.” They said that if you eat “white people food” then you’re doing very good in life and you have a happy life. I tried to explain to them that in America you can get burgers for very cheap. Like on the Dollar Menu. However, they asked how much is $1 USD compared to Tanzanian shillings. $1 USD equated to 3,000 Tanzanian shillings. They said that they could eat three meals with that much money in one day. This kind of took me back and really opened my eyes. I insisted that they let me take them out for burgers, my treat. I just had to introduce them to their first burger experience!

We met up on a Saturday at Salt which is this Western restaurant near Oyster Bay and Coco Beach. It’s the only Western restaurant around and one of the few places that sells burgers. They were in awe at the restaurant! I have never really been put in the position where I’ve had to explain what everyday typical things are. For instance, they’d ask me questions about the menu like what ketchup was or what macaroni and cheese was. It was kind of funny because typically they’re the ones telling me what all of the different things in Tanzania are but now I was able to share a little bit of home with them even though we weren’t in America.

There’s a lot of different and unique types of burgers on the menu. Of course your regular beef burger, chicken burger, salmon burger, etc. They would ask me to explain what each one was and what everything on the menu meant. I ended up asking each of them what they like in Swahili food like if they prefer spicy over sweet, etc. and made my assumptions that way and based that off of how I ordered for them. It was such a fun meal!

We made a toast for them almost being done with the semester. The school year is switched here. They’re about to have summer whereas in America summer is ending.

After lunch we went to Coco Beach and strolled along the shore and I took them to the cliffs. My friend there, who’s a lifeguard, walked with us to the cliffs. It was just so much fun relaxing with them. It was also nice having them there because they were able to translate what everyone was saying to me.

This is definitely an experience that made me very honored and humbled and a memory that I’ll always cherish.

Pediatric Oncology August 28-September 8

Aug 28, 2017

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August 28-September 8

My experience in Pediatric Oncology these last two weeks was absolutely unbelievable despite me having strange things going on with my health.

My first week was a weird week for me because I was having some serious GI complications. It made me miss 2 days at the hospital. It makes me really upset with myself when I miss work but you can’t take care of other people until you take care of yourself. Luckily, I’m all better now. However, this last week I actually had to go to the hospital for a minor operation. I’ll write about that in my next post. In this post I’ll talk about the Oncology Ward.

My first day on the Pediatric Oncology Unit was unbelievable. I absolutely fell in love with all of the children!

I’ve always heard people say how hard Oncology can be, especially Pediatric Oncology; however, I love it. Of course the children are very sick and it can break your heart. But, children have such a special place in my heart. So even though these children are sick and sometimes lifeless which is the exact opposite of how children should be, it’s when they need you the most. I’m so honored that so many parents and children knew me by my name! On Monday I was beside the medicine closest and a lady walked passed me. I remembered her face but couldn’t really remember anything else. I said hello and how was her morning and then she said both my first and last name! I probably met her once last week but she remembered my name and everything. There are two units in the Oncology Ward. There’s upendo and tumaini. Upendo means love and that’s where the really critical patients are. The Tumaini Ward means hope and that’s where the less critical patients go to or where patients from Updeno transfer to when they are improving. I spent most of my time in the Upendo Ward.

The children honestly make your heart grow 20 times bigger. Being with the children really made me want to know more Swahili so I could communicate with them and play with them more. Most children don’t understand you can’t speak Swahili. They’ll keep speaking to you. I realized though during a lot of the play time with children you don’t need words to communicate. It was so interesting getting to play with African children. For instance, there’s a playroom you can go in where the children have different things to play with. When you walk in all of the children smile ear to ear and just run up to you yelling, “Mzungu!!!!!” We were using clay and they were making food to eat like chipati’s or ugali. It was funny to me because that’s exactly what children would do in America except it’s just different foods. They’d also play doctor with me. They’d pretend to put an IV cannula in me and would tell me to not cry and shh. Since they’ve been in the hospital so much that’s what they’ve been exposed to so they were reenacting what they’ve had to do.

Handsome Uma! My first kiddo friend! He loved wearing my name tag everyday!

Her little smile could literally light up the world!

This is the play room where all the fun games happen! Mzungu alert!

PHOTO 1- There was never a day where I wasn’t holding at least 2 children’s hands.

PHOTO 2- They always wanted to take me somewhere

PHOTO 3- And we are off again!

Sometimes the kids would also hurt you. Since I’m white they find me very interesting! They’ll get my hair out of my bun and just pull and pull on it trying to get it to come out. This one little girl kept jumping up and popping me in the eye. She would pull my arm hairs and all the children kept pinching my skin. No matter how much I would say no, hapana, they would literally mock me and just laugh. I had to hide in the nurses room so they would stop hurting me. But for the most part they were very sweet and loving. It was very interesting to see how they do some of the things in the ward compared to what I’m used to seeing in America. I was able to understand why we do a lot of the things we do in the states. For instance, there’s this big bottle of liquid morphine that just sits in the unlocked cupboard in the middle of all of the patients.

The parent will simply bring a cap size clear container to you which means there child is in pain and they need the morphine for them. Without documenting or anything you simply fill the cap to the top and that’s it. You don’t go assess the child or follow the parent with the medication to make sure the child actually takes it. In addition, the nurses typically give the parents the medications to administer to the children. No documenting is done (or at least any that I’ve seen). Of course the nurses administer IV medications and IV flushes and will put a check mark beside the action in the patients file but other than that the parents are in control of the actual pills.

I saw a situation where this went very bad due to miscommunication on various ends of the spectrum. Me and a doctor from Ireland named Rincy were looking at a patients lab values over the course of a week and documenting them on a chart so you could see a trend. However, the child’s K+ level was 2.4 two days ago... The lab value hadn’t been rechecked since then and the child was taking a potassium tablet. However, upon further investigation and talking with the Mom we discovered that the child had ran out of the tablets a few days ago. The mother simply didn’t understand. It was the mothers responsibility to tell the nurse or doctor that she ran out of the medication so they could order a new prescription. However, if it was properly documented and the nurse distributed the medication then this problem wouldn’t have occurred. The scary thing to think about is what would have happened if we hadn’t of caught that? Who would have? And when? A low potassium is critical and needs first priority.

This situation taught me the importance of patient advocacy. If you don’t advocate for your patient and truly know their chart then who else will? That responsibility falls on you. We are so lucky in America to have almost an entirely paperless system. There are far less accidents that occur. Another example is having to read the doctors orders on each patients chart. It’s very interesting how they do their orders. The doctor will write it inside each patients chart and then a nurse will go through all the charts and write all the orders in a notebook where all the orders are together in one spot rather than various folders. I did this job one day. Writing down all the orders literally almost took me all day.

Moreover, reading the doctors handwriting was absolutely horrendous sometimes! I could easily see how someone could write the orders down wrong. I would have to ask various nurses sometimes what the doctor was trying to say because the handwriting was quite horrific.

As far as infection goes I could see how easily a child could be infected due to germs of other children. The unit was a ward so there would typically be 6 children in one room. Now add family members and brothers and sisters and that’s a lot of people in one room that can transmit germs. One little boy was being tested for TB and he was still around all of the other children. Infection control was something I constantly worried about. Furthermore, all the patients share the same bathroom and toilet. Inside the ward there’s just the room and the communal showers are in a different room. The hospital cooked food for families that lived too far away and couldn’t bring food from home. However, if they did live close to the hospital they were expected to bring their own food from home.

On EID Day there was hardly anyone at the hospital. I didn’t even realize that Friday was a holiday. It’s a huge Muslim holiday. How people explained it to me is that it’s kind of like Easter to Christian’s. There was only one nurse on the Upendo Ward taking care of the patients. I found this to be my golden opportunity and I basically became this nurses side kick all day. Since there were very little hands and so much to do I was able to get a lot of experience that day. I helped prepare all of the IV flush medications. In America typically all the medications are already mixed for you. However, you prepare the entire medication. In the bottle it starts out as powder. You have to draw up a certain percentage of sterile saline (depending on which medication you have to dilute) and mix it with the powder. You even have to do normal saline flushes this way. They do not come pre-made. This is something I never even thought about having to do. We are so blessed in the US to have all of these things already made for us.

EID weekend was a very interesting weekend and we had to take extra precautions. There were lots of parties going on and the Work the World team warned us not to be out late because a lot of thieves are out and about during the holiday. There was a huge party at Coco Beach which is just down the street from where I live. I was meeting up with someone near by and as I left the house there were stampedes of people on the side of the road walking. It was evening time and they were all leaving the big celebration at Coco Beach. Most were all dressed in hijabs and typical Muslim clothing. There were probably 100 people walking down the street in the same direction I was trying to get to. I ended up walking on the road. About 2 minutes had passed by as I was walking and I just felt someone hit my arm. I turned around to find a Muslim woman glaring at me. She asked me why is it that American women (how she knew I was American I have no idea. Most people think I look either Greek or Italian here maybe due to the curly hair) think they can just walk so fast in front of everyone else? She spoke very good English but she was being very passive aggressive towards me and I actually got extremely worried because I was not in a safe environment. Of course I was wearing respectful clothes for the culture and I had done nothing wrong. I was walking on the road so I didn’t even push my way through people. It was a clear opening. People in Tanzania do tend to be very hakuna matata (no worries) and don’t typically rush. I’m just a fast walker in general. I explained as nice as I could that that’s not why I was walking fast. I was walking fast because I was late meeting a friend (which was true). In that moment I saw the friend out of the corner of my eye. I began to walk towards him and she just glared at me as if I owed it to her to continue having a conversation with her when she was practically yelling at me. I explained this is my friend right here. She just rolled her eyes and continued walking with her friends. That has honestly been the only bad encounter I’ve had with a Muslim person here. All of them are so sweet and kind. This situation just really caught me off guard and reminded me to always be cautious and safe with my surroundings.

The last thing I’d like to talk about are two little boys from Muhimbili. One is 15 (almost my little brothers age) and the other is 11. Both of them loved to draw. This reminded me exactly of my little brother, Grantley. He loves to draw as well and I could see the same passion Grantley has in these little boys eyes. They had their drawings on loose printer paper. That day after work I decided I’d run by the little grocery store and get them a sketch book and some art pencils. I honestly can’t not put into the words the feeling I got when the boys saw what I had got them. It humbled me so much. Their eyes lit up as if it was Christmas morning and they kept saying God Bless You. My last day at the hospital I got those boys each a football. They had asked me for one weeks ago but I didn’t know the place to get them. I asked Faraja (one of the staff members of Work the World) if he could get me some if I gave him the money and he said of course! As I pulled the footballs out of the bag (red and white for Simba colors of course) their eyes were even bigger than before when I gave them the art supplies. They grabbed the balls and they were off to go and play with them. That’s the last time I saw the two boys. Best moment ever.

I’m definitely going to miss all of those children.

And I’ll always remember the special moments like a child just running up to you to hold your hand and walk around the unit with you. Or when I had seven children just clinging to me for about 10 minutes. One of the grandparents had to tell them to let go of me so I could go to the nurses station.

My favorite painting in the hospital. There is beautiful artwork all around the children's hopsital.

My favorite painting in the hospital. There is beautiful artwork all around the children’s hospital.