Category Archives: Thoughts

Sunscreen & An Umbrella

Hey all!

I made it! This past Wednesday, I bid farewell to my family and friends as I took an early-morning flight (2am!) to Guadalajara. Preparations looked like everything from me reaching out to my host mother to preparing and printing documents for customs. Despite the ungodly flight time, things went smoothly for the most part and I have been settling in nicely. Since my project is just now starting, I took the past few days to explore the area with my friend who happens to live here! I feel very blessed to have a tour guide of sorts, as he has already shown me several parts of the city, given me tips for getting around safely, helped me with little tasks, and, perhaps most importantly, introduced me to several local dishes!

I certainly have experienced some culture shock, but I am doing my best to keep an open mind and learn from each little experience. The shortlist of differences includes some pretty nasty traffic (naturally accompanied by pollution), relatively lawless driving habits, and perhaps tens of thousands of street vendors of all ages selling everything from fruit to tacos to clothing. In general, I am impressed, but not surprised, with how welcoming and kind people are in Guadalajara. I knew of the city’s friendly reputation before arriving, but believing in that and trusting that are two distinct steps, and I don’t think I have taken the latter just yet. This week, I am challenging myself to get over the fear of the unknown (and of being the stupid foreigner) through little tasks like walking my laundry to the laundromat, exploring the supermarket, trying out local gyms, and actually asking questions when I have them (instead of awkwardly trying to figure everything out on my own).

A few days in, my friend pointed out to me that I was drawing loads comparisons to places I’ve previously lived, saying things like “This would never happen in the US,” or “I wish people acted more like that in Spain.” Having traveled quite a bit over the past 3 years, I now understand that this is just one, defensive way I try to make sense of the change, and I’m starting to recognize that its a fruitless effort. I can be stubborn, so it was admittedly unpleasant accepting constructive criticism from my friend, but I think it was a timely challenge for me to adjust my posture to one of service and learning as I begin my project.

My initial role in a shelter for migrants and transmigrants differs significantly from the one I held with Fulbright in Spain. Here, my primary goal is to give dignifying support to those in need while learning about the sociopolitical context of immigration in Mexico — not to share about my American experience and draw cultural comparisons. So, into the workweek I go, seeking to simply observe, learn, and work step-by-step towards acclimation, putting my existing worldview on pause for at least a moment.

Oh, and one more thing before I let your weary eyes rest. Only one day into my time here, I learned I must always be armed with sunscreen and an umbrella. It’s rainy season, and when locals say that, they aren’t joking. I’ve learned not to be fooled by sunny and warm mornings. The sun might be blazing through the afternoon, but come evening, there’s a good chance you’ll get soaked (or electrocuted if you’re not careful). Forgive the obvious metaphor, but just as I want to be prepared for the weather, I also want to be prepared to do my job well, whether it is exactly how I hoped it would be or quite the opposite. Maybe this experience will be made most meaningful through a little mix of both. 🌦️

Until next time,

Aaron

A stunning gothic church in Guadalajara

Sopa de tortilla and tacos de camarón

The warm, thermal river in La Primavera Park

Lake Chapala, just an hour and a half from Guadalajara

More camarones (I love shrimp)

Excited about the Journey Ahead

Hello Blog!

This is my pre-departure post and I cannot be more excited for Egypt! I am currently about 2 weeks away from departure and i’m feeling a lot of things such as excitement, curiosity, and definitely some uncertainty of what to expect. Out of excitement I have made a list of restaurants that I want to visit in the 6 months while in Cairo as well as followed a few instagram accounts that offer advice on how best  to integrate better with the locals. My goals for the trip are to walk away with a strong understanding of the Egyptian culture and to truly be a part of their community in a helpful way while abroad. I cannot wait for the challenges and for the growth that I hope will be apparent when looking back at these blogs as well.

In terms of preparation I feel like I have done all I can and yet that I could not possibly be ready, all at once. I’ve been speaking only Arabic at home in order to get used to the language, and every once in a while I realize how truly crazy it is that I will soon be in Africa working with a nonprofit on a volunteer trip that I meticulously planned for months. Its surreal truly and in all honesty a tad overwhelming but nonetheless bound to be an experience I will never forget.

The non-profit organization has been really helpful in communicating that they will teach us what is needed along the way which is a relief because it takes away the stress of trying to figure it all out alone. I also think it’s really great that I’ve had the chance to apply to law school during the few months after graduation before embarking on this journey so that I can be fully committed to this experience for the next 6 months. Finding out decisions while abroad will be interesting and potentially a little lonely at times but having something to focus all my attention on rather than anxiously waiting for decisions to come out every day will be a blessing.

Speaking of blessings, another thing that has given me some comfort is getting to go with Ilaria on this trip as I know we can look out for one another and that it’ll be easier to feel safe and secure with a little part of home always around. I couldn’t be more thankful for this opportunity to grow as a person and work within the human rights field before law school, and I am so grateful to Belmont and to Lumos for offering this once in a lifetime opportunity to their students because I don’t think I would have ever had the chance to do this in life if not for them.

Send your prayers that the flight there is safe and painless, and that the layover provides an opportunity to explore london for a few hours before arriving haha.

Until next time blog,

Respectfully,

Nardien Sadik

Cairo, Egypt

 

 

Introducing Me

In the midst of a rapidly evolving world, fast paced with little room for empathy and grace if left behind, it has felt increasingly overwhelming to keep up with the conversations of our nation to say the least. In the midst of the world we find ourselves in, the hard and necessary conversations our nation is beginning to hold, rising political tension, a global pandemic- and one that has been politically manipulated at that, life has felt disheartening, heavy, and kind of a grey-blue of sorts.

The question we should be asking ourselves is not “To wear or not wear a mask” (because the answer is always wear the mask), rather, more than ever I think the question we should be asking ourselves is what did we do to actively contribute to the bettering of our environment? Whether that be our neighborhood, our community, our gym, our nation, our local park or community nature trail, we are- more so than ever, amidst our social locations, given a newfound infinite amount of opportunity to act with kindness, grace, and empathy.

I say this because as a Lumos traveler, I want my travel to have purpose and meaning. I want to reflect back and remember times that I was kind, that I was patient, that I actively listened more than I spoke, that I remained always (to the best of my ability) in a posture of curiosity and humility as I engaged with the new piece of the world around me.

I say this, because amidst a disheartening, heavy, and kind of grey-blue of sorts world, I believe we are not only given an opportunity, but obligated to seek out something- moments, conversations, random acts of kindness that are a sort of yellow-like shade. I am already deeply indebted to the opportunities that the Lumos Travel Grant has provided me thus far, and as a Lumos Traveler, I will do everything in my power to act out of a posture of curiosity and humility, to listen well, seek justice in the systems I work for, and continue to practice advocacy and allyship. 

My name is Liv and I will be departing to Cape Town, South Africa in two weeks to work in a township. In this township resides a group facility for immigrant and refugee children called Lawrence House. At this moment, I am in Florida visiting family for the holidays and I’ve just turned twenty-three. At this moment, you can find me sitting at the counter with a cold cup of coffee a little past noon, listening to Jeremy Loops, a (to my understanding) quite popular South African musician, trying to preemptively write my Lumos experience, processing as I go. 

If you were here, in this moment with me, you’d see me sitting at my Nana’s counter, writing these words while listening to her sing Christmas songs two days after Christmas has passed, offering her words of wisdom and wishes for the future of the world. If I were to write about them, I’d call the collection “Lessons from my Nana’s Kitchen Counter.” As we exit the Advent and Christmas season and transition into the new year, I hope we take with us a continued desire and longing for goodness, and the hopeful anticipation of its arrival. For now, I will leave you with words from Scott Erickson, who I’ve come to familiarize myself with as “Scott the Painter”. He says:

I can help.

I can be helped.

 

I can carry.

I can be carried.

 

I can move.

I can be moved.

 

I can repair.

I can be repaired. 

May we recite these words to remember that we can be the giver of goodness and that also, especially in the midst of the world we find ourselves in now, it is more than okay to need, ask for, and receive goodness. 

These words are paired with an original image of Scott’s as pictured below of a tow truck helping another.

The post referenced, along with more of Scott’s wise words and beautifully captivating artwork can be found here.  

In your corner,

Liv

 

Goodbye Fingernails, Hello Detroit.

Today is the day!

Well, today was supposed to be the day.

I had my flights all booked, my travel snacks all picked out, and bags all (almost) packed. 

At 2:55pm today, Thursday, August 29th, 2019, I was supposed to be moving to India, but instead I’m sitting at home in Detroit, Michigan, sipping on iced coffee and playing banana grams with my parents.

Long story short, I don’t have my visa yet.

And you can’t really move to a new country without a visa.

If you’ve ever had to apply for a visa, other than a tourist visa, then I rest assured in the fact that you feel my pain.

A few weeks back, I applied for a year-long employment visa. I wasn’t given an exact timeline as to when I would hear back, but with a suggested start date for my internship, I had a fairly determined departure date in my mind: today.

I waited to book the flights at first, but as I saw the prices slowly creep into the thousands, I thought, “oh, what the heck, I’ll go ahead and book my flight.”

I was confident in the plan I had made in my head. 

As the departure day slowly approached, my email inbox remained vacant of any visa details. 

I called and emailed all the customer service contacts I could, but everyone responded with the same sad, automated message: “Dear Applicant, we have no new information on the status of your visa. Please be patient until we receive further updates.”

I wanted to know WHEN I would hear and WHY it was taking so long and WHO was handling my visa and WHAT could I do to speed up the process. 

But unfortunately, all I know is that it’s not time.

I don’t have my visa, therefore, it’s not time for me to go. 

My poor nails have taken quite a blow in all of this.

I bite my nails in stress, and by the size of the current crooked nubs on the ends of my fingers, I declare the last few weeks as some of the most stressful weeks of my life.

But oddly, I feel okay.

I am stressed, but I am also excited.

I am excited for this adventure, and I am eager for it to begin.

So much is up in the air, so yes, I am anxiously waiting for a plan to be presented for me to act upon, but I’m not worried. 

I feel a sense of peace. A sense that it will be okay. 

I believe in a big God. A God who is completely in control. If I’m supposed to be there by next week, then I’ll be there. If my Heavenly Father wants me home for a few extra days, then so be it.

I trust that His ways are far greater than mine, even if my way seemed quite good, I trust that His is better. No matter how many finger nails I chew through, I will wait upon the Lord.

Today was supposed to be the day, but it’s not, and you know what?

That’s okay. 

The day will come. As I wait, I will rejoice in all that has been and all that is to come.

A big adventure awaits, and although the details are unknown to me right now, I trust the One that knows the details. 

 

 

If you’ve got a few moments this week to pray, maybe in the car or in line at the grocery store, then please lift up the details of my visa. I am hoping and praying to be on a plane some time in the next week, but there’s not much more I can do right now besides wait.

Thankfully, the organization I am interning for, International Justice Mission, has been so gracious in all of this. They are patiently waiting and praying right alongside me, and they are eagerly preparing for my arrival, whenever that may be. 

More updates to come.

kate

 

Tiny Wurm, Big World

Welcome to my very first blog!

I am slowly learning how to put the stories, ideas, and thoughts I encounter into words for you to not only read, but to experience for yourself. I am honored that you are willing to take a moment of your own life to read about mine through a smudged laptop screen, big, ol’ desktop, or whatever your viewing screen of choice happens to be. 

Well, I am moving to India.

Who would’ve thought? Not my parents.

Well, perhaps... I assume they knew that this was coming before I broke the news to them, but to you all this move overseas may raise some questions. Allow me to share where this all began. 

I initially felt a tug on my heart to visit India about 2 years ago. 

May of 2017 to be exact. 

As most dreams do, it began as a small seed in the back of my mind. I slowly began to water the thought of India with books and conversations and prayers and movies and anything else within my reach, and before I knew it, I had a full grown tree of thought taking root in not only my mind, but also in my heart. 

The obsession with this place spilled over into a deep love for the culture and people of India. 

I visited twice in early 2018, and shortly after my trips, I felt a new small seed being planted in my head to move there. 

Taken during my second visit to India. A moment where I felt tiny, tiny, tiny.

Fast forward a year and here we are! 

After many early morning interviews, long-distance phone call meetings, financial confusions and a few teary-eyed (okay ugly weeping) kitchen breakdowns, I can finally recognize the purpose interwoven in all the moments that led me to right here.

You will hear so much more about this in the coming months, but in just a few short weeks I begin a communications internship with International Justice Mission on the west coast of India.

In somewhat of a short (okay medium to long) version, IJM is a non-profit organization composed of Christian attorneys, social workers, criminal investigators, and support staff. IJM carefully investigates situations of abuse and partners with local officials to free victims from their immediate situations of

danger. After the victims have been freed, IJM seeks to address the root of the problem by prosecuting the perpetrators in local court systems and empowering communities to make structural changes that can prevent such abuses in the future. IJM also works with aftercare providers to help the newly freed victims adjust to a life that is very different from their past oppressive experiences. 

Check out their website for more information (www.ijm.org). 

In early June, I flew to DC for a pre-departure orientation with 79 other IJM interns.

IJM’s headquarters sit on the outskirts of the surprisingly sweet DC area, and the 5 days spent within the walls of the organization, shaking hands of those whom I’d only met over email, praying alongside current employees, filling notepads with the kind of information that sets your soul on fire...those 5 days represent just a small seed of what this year has the potential of growing into. I sat wide-eyed in front of each speaker as they shared about their specific area of expertise within the organization from technology to fundraising, and from cultural immersion to international team building. I learned more about the heart of IJM, absorbed the stories that the organization is founded on, and held back tears as I heard about all that the IJM team plans to accomplish in the years to come. 

The best part is that IJM’s story, team, and mission exceed me. 

This year will break far beyond the walls of my own mind, as I hope to share with you, and anyone who is willing to listen, the stories of rescue and victory and renewal.

I used to say the phrase, “tiny wurm, big world,” whenever I saw something or visited somewhere that made me feel small in the best possible way. 

Looking out at the mountain, the ocean, the waterfall, or the sunset, and being filled with some sort of ‘this is what life is about’ feeling. The tears forming in the corner of your eyes and your heart lifting as though it had just exhaled for the first time in years. The Creator has a way of revealing the most extravagant gifts of the world to us in a way more personal than we could ever describe.

I have a feeling this next year is going to be a lot of those, “tiny wurm, big world,” moments. Perhaps a beautiful sunset or a breathtaking view, or maybe even the feeling I’ll get when I first figure out how to do laundry in India. 

 

Whatever it is, I look forward to sharing that moment with you. 

 

a good photo reference for when someone says they have “laundry for days..” Taken on my second trip to India.

 

 

– kate

 

 

 

 

unrelenting joy.

When joy is a habit, love is a reflex.

-Bob Goff

Before coming to Tanzania I thought I knew what the above quote meant. I thought I knew what it meant to exude joy, and thus pour love into those around you. However, after being here for just about a month, I have realized that truthfully, I had no idea what that meant until my time in Arusha.

Africa has shown me unrelenting joy in a way that I never knew possible, and that joy is overwhelmingly followed with a constant love of others. Walking down the street to the dala dala station, I am met with a multitude of high fives, greetings, and kisses blown from strangers. At first, this kind of scared me, as it has been engrained in me that strangers should be met with caution. While I do still believe this, as I am still a foreigner here and I need to be cautious, the vast majority of these people only want to be met with kindness, and they expect nothing else in return. This is because, despite the hardships that they face on a day to day basis, they meet all those that they come in contact with joy, appreciation, and love.

Even more so than those I meet on my daily adventures around town, my students exude joy in a way that I admire and honestly, envy a little bit. Being able to come to school, receive lunch, and spend time with friends is something that I absolutley took for granted when I was younger, yet these sweet children see school as the greatest thing in the world and come in every single day excited to learn and grow. They meet me with a level of joy every single day that I cannot quite describe. From the way that they excitedly shout every time an airplane passes over the school, to the way they are so eager to share their newfound academic abilities, these sweet kids exude joy in an incredible way.  It is a kind of joy that I feel so lucky to be a part of, a kind of joy that shows you what is important in life.

These people, and more specifically, these children, are content without the materialistic lifestyle that we as a society keep feeding into, absentmindedly hoping that maybe one day acquiring the right car, house, or newest iPhone will suddenly make us feel whole. People here don’t seem to care about any of that. They want to spend time with one another. They want to eat in community with others, dance freely, and in doing this, they have shown me that these are the things that matter. Things will not bring us joy, people and experiences will.

Now that this lesson has been so deeply ingrained in those I am honored to live in community with, they can spend their time pouring out love onto the people around them, because at the end of the day, what greater gift can you give another person that your love? The people that I have been able to learn from here have truly made joy a habitual action in their lives, and, in turn, they spread love like they are made of it.

Song of the Week: Seasons by Grayson Chance

A Home Reflection

To be honest, I’m still reflecting on my emotions towards being back home. It’s only been a week and I need more time to process it all.

My last day at work was the sweetest! The teachers I worked with threw me a small party. The three teachers gathered their classes and made a circle, placing me in the middle. They danced around me and expressed their gratitude. I explained to them that I was forever grateful for having been apart of such a beautiful community. These teachers were beyond ordinary and I made sure to let them know. They gifted me with a large photo of them with their classes and individual drawings from the students with an address attached to stay in contact. As I said my good-byes, I had one of my little children in my arms. She dug her face into my shoulder. I asked if she was okay and when she looked at me, she had tears coming down her face! My heart broke. I know it’s part of the journey but walking out of a child’s life is not easy. I’m going to stay in contact with the teachers via e-mail but I still wish I could have stayed with my little babies forever! I can’t wait to hear from them!

Now, my arrival into J.F.K was not as bad as I expected it to be with the government shut down. I made it through customs in less that 15 minutes. I filled out a quick questionnaire on a computer, the guard asked me, “Are you declaring anything?”, I said no and went on my merry way. I walked out of customs and broke down in tears when I saw my dad smiling at me near the entrance. I missed my people! I have thoroughly enjoyed being around my family. I love being in their presence and being able to hug them. I cannot begin to explain how tired I grew of Facetime. On a scale of one to ten for connectedness, one for low and ten for high, I give Facetime a big fat three. I prefer to “talk to ya when I see ya,” when it comes to long conversations. In the states, I typically use Facetime for silly, short conversations. However, I checked in on family on a weekly basis and sometimes daily. It was bitter-sweet to say the least. All-in-all, I am taking advantage of the time I have back at home.

Aside from working, I spent majority of my time in Spain applying to graduate schools. Thankfully, I completed all of that work before coming home but Uncle Sam still found a list of things for me to take care of. Welcome home! Jokes aside, I do enjoy staying busy, but I would enjoy it more in Valencia, where the sun is always shining, the coffee is 1.50 euro, and everyone takes a siesta. That’s the one thing I would definitely bring back from Spain if I could. If dying and taxes are inevitable, why not throw a siesta in the mix to make it more bearable? Ah, one can dream.

Overall, I am extremely excited to see what 2019 brings. By February, I will find out my status for graduate school! I’m honestly at peace with whatever the outcome is. I just have this feeling that everything will play out the way it is meant to. Spain helped me focus on my strengths as an individual and it assured me that I am on the right path. 2019 is my year to further engage in activities and conversations surround topics that I am passionate about, i.e. mental health, mental illness, child-care and development, social issues etc. I dedicated myself to my undergraduate work and received wonderful opportunities because of it. Now, I am prepared to take it to the next level.

This scholarship helped me immerse myself into work that I care about dearly, but it also allowed me to hit the reset button. I know that I earned my awards and opportunities because of the work I put into it all. However, it put a strain on my mental health, and I know this is an issue for millions of students across the world. That’s why I am beyond thankful for this scholarship. I needed it more than I realized at the time. Now, I am prepared for what’s to come.

Talk soon,

Rachel Beihl

Somos Juntos – We Are Together

 

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

I wasn’t sure what to expect when Christmas break arrived. I’d spent the last two months adjusting to living with new people and having a new work schedule and now I was going to be the only volunteer left in a three-bedroom apartment. The apartment felt eerily quiet. At first, I enjoyed dancing around the apartment without having anyone around, but by the third day I started to feel like a mad-woman. Working with the children and Face-Timing my loved ones just wasn’t enough. The idea of Christmas in Barcelona was the only thing keeping me going at that point.

However, the 20th of December lifted my spirits. It was the last day of work but also the day I would sing Christmas songs with the children. When I arrived, I was elated by the presence of all the children and their families. The school was giving out hot chocolate and pastries. There was music playing and a do-it-yourself (DIY) photo booth. I no longer felt unsure of how my Christmas would feel. I’ve never felt more at peace than with the children and their families. It reassured my purpose in life and my intentions within my career, which is to consciously engage and have direct relationships with the groups and individuals I work with.

That day was magical! When the time came to sing Christmas songs with my children, all the teachers and families gathered around us to listen. I grabbed my ukulele, counted to three, and my little ones sang “Feliz Navidad,” and “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” It was the sweetest thing I could have ever experienced. I was close to tears as I watched my class smile and sing along. Their eyes were filled with such love as they looked to me to guidance. It has been such an honor to be a part of their lives. They have made me a better person and I love those children more than I can express.

After we finished, the crowd asked me to do a speech. Oh, my lanta. Ha, I was nervous but I got through it. The teachers then proceeded to ask families from different countries to sing a Christmas song in their language. We were a family, enjoying and respecting each other’s’ cultures; from Spanish, Moroccan, Nigerian, to Gujarati and more. It was the beginning of the best Christmas ever.

On the 23rd of December, I traveled to Barcelona to meet my Second cousin and her husband for the first time. Prior to us meeting, we had only spoken through Facebook. The family resemblance was uncanny. It was comforting to see a familiar face and be around a culture more familiar to my own as a Honduran. They gave me the REAL Spain experience. They lived on the outskirts of Barcelona in Vallirana, Cataluña, Spain. This is the ore country side of Spain, where the pueblos (small towns) are located. I felt lucky to be staying with them because it added depth to my experience and knowledge of Spain. It was without a doubt my favorite part of Spain.

During the first two days, we visited the church La Sagrada Familia and drove around Vallirana. Catalan is the language spoken in this area. When I joined them for the Christmas mass, I could barely understand what was being said. It was definitely not the Spanish I had grown up around. Nevertheless, I was beautiful.

On Christmas day, we drove to Barcelona to join my cousin’s husband’s family for dinner in a hotel. The dinner was superb from start to finish and the family was more than welcoming of my presence. They asked me to play Christmas songs with my ukulele and so I did. Their singing captured the entire hotel floor’s attention. Everyone enjoyed themselves greatly. After dinner, a few of us went off to visit Montjuic, a hill surrounded by a national museum, a castle, and a 5-Star Hotel that hosted for the 1992 Summer Olympics. Only the pictures can truly describe the beauty of it all, but even then, it’s something you have to experience.

My cousins and I spent the next day at Mont Tibidabo, which overlooks Spain and is surround by an Amusement park and a telecommunications tower as well as the famous catholic church Sagrat Cor. The view was breathtaking; and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, my cousins took be to Montserrat the next day.

Montserrat Mountain is both a natural park and monastery, and home of Our Lady of Montserrat, which is also known as “La Virgen Negra” – The Black Virgen Mary. It was the highest I have ever been on a mountain. It was truly heavenly. I was in the clouds. Again, this was an experience that is better illustrated through photos and 100% better in person. Every day here has been a dream.

December 28th completed my Christmas break. At 10:40 a.m., I ran into the arms of my boyfriend Trevor who in July, decided he wanted to spend New Year’s with me in Spain. I’ve been speechless ever since. Traveling is a beautiful experience but it is much better when you’re surround by people you love. I cannot wait to see how the rest of this break plays out.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with love.

-Rachel B.

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The Privileges of My Life

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”  -Maya Angelou

Kudos to the individuals who choose to travel by themselves for six months or even a year. I have been counting my blessings and my privileges during these last two weeks. Traveling is an exciting and life changing experience, but not for the reasons that we romanticized in our society. Spain is beautiful country with breath taking sights all around. There is ancient history is all around me and I am taking it all in. I still can’t believe that I’m even here. But I also can’t believe that I’ve been here for 51 days without my family and friends! Technology has been blessing and a curse for sure! I’m to the point where FaceTime is becoming a nuisance.

I’m a proud emotional human who values the importance of physical touch. I love hugs! I’m not mentioning this to sound sweet, but to point out that something as simple as a hug can be taken for granted. As I mentioned earlier, FaceTime has become a nuisance. I see and talk to my loved ones but what I really need is to be with them. I have realized how privileged I am for the simple fact that I get to go back home to the people I love. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how many families are separated by choice or by force. I think about how many of them will never get to see their loved ones again and how this will shape their lives. Most of all, I think about my mother, my aunts and uncles, and my abuela. I think about the sacrifices that were made just so that they could come to the U.S. and live a better life.

See, my mother immigrated from Honduras to the United States at the age of 26. Her older sister, my Tia Rina, was the main reason my mother was able to come to New York. Tia Rina left Honduras first to find work in the U.S.. My abuela followed and then eventually my mother and her other siblings did as well. Now, my mother is a citizen and lives 30 minutes away from her mother and her siblings. Can you imagine that journey? Can you imagine the struggles that came with it? I’ve heard these stories first hand and I still can’t imagine having to go through that.

This story is my reminder of why I am on this journey. Despite the days when I am overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness, I remember how lucky I am. It hurts to go through struggles but that’s a part of life. I know this. I also know how hard my mother and father worked to provide me with an education that could expose me to greater opportunities than what they had access to when they were younger. Just thinking about them makes me tear up because I am so proud. I am proud of them and I am proud of myself.

I hope when present and future travelers read this they pause and reflect on the value of their trip. The mixed feelings and the struggles are inevitable. It’s all part of the journey. I’m coming to see that the purpose in “traveling with a purpose,” is more about self-growth than it is anything else. Unless someone has partaken in this journey, no one can truly understand the difficulties that come with it. It’s probably one of the most humbling experiences as well. Close your eyes and open your heart. The message will be clearer.

Con cariño,

Rachel

P.S. – The children at work continue to fill my heart with so much love. I’ve been teaching them Christmas songs with Lola, my ukulele, for the last two weeks, preparing them to present it to their families on Thursday! To no surprise, music has been extremely therapeutic for the kids. It’s worked magic on their little hearts. It has helped some calm down after a tantrum and has brought others out of their shyness. Lola has a place in their hearts for sure. I can’t wait to join them in singing Christmas songs this Thursday.

P.S. – Here are some more pictures of Valencia! xoxo

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Unraveling My Purpose

In the dream of heaven, you completely surrender to life, knowing that everything is just the way it is. And because you accept everything as it is, you no longer worry about anything. Your life becomes exciting because there’s no more fear. You know that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, and that everything that has happened was meant to happen because they have led you to greater awareness. Even the worst thing that can happen to you is meant to happen because it’s going to push you to grow. – Don Miguel Ruiz

Adjusting to Spain has been easy, but I can’t the same say in regard to having no local support system. While I enjoy the presence of my fellow volunteers, it is exhausting to constantly be around individuals with journeys that do not align with mine. I mean, I’m a 23 year-old who is ready for a more serious part of her life, while the other volunteers are 18 years-old and dying to finally have some control over their own lives. This is 100% natural! I’m only mentioning it because I want all future travelers to know that it is okay to feel like the outsider of a group, to realize that who you are may not fit into the group’s agenda. Raising our awareness and respect for others is the best thing we can do for ourselves in these situations. Be social when you can but also honor the moments when your body tells you you’ve had enough for the day. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you. I promise.

On a different note, Spain has been treating me extremely well. From time to time I reflect on the Lumos catch phrase, “Travel with a purpose.” My purpose has unraveled little by little each week, but I’ll wait till the end to share that with you. I will say that my Spanish has improved significantly. I’ve let the children I work with correct my Spanish. For 5-7 year-olds, they are pretty intelligent. Mind you, some of them are from different countries and have to learn Spanish, Valenciana, Castellano, and English! These little sponges are way smarter than I was at their age! After 23 years, I can finally hold a conversation with my Abuela (grandmother) back home and it warms my heart. Common now!

I’m impressed with the way the teachers work with the children. In my experience, I have never seen so many teachers treat their “wild” students with so much love and patience. I love it! I’m so use to watching teachers get frustrated with these types of students. I have the utmost respect for these kinds of teachers because they volunteer the best parts of them. I first heard this idea from a college professor of mine in NY. He said, “I get paid to teach you. It doesn’t matter how I teach you because I still get a pay check. But if I expect you to learn, that means I have to volunteer my best self.” He then went on expressing how fed up he was with teachers who don’t get personal with their students; but I digress.

As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, these children come from all over the world and they are all from lower income families. Additionally, the teachers in this school all have fair skin, while the students vary from tan, to brown, to black. Now, I am only mentioning this because I have observed the teacher-student relationships. I have yet to see one teacher pick on a student for their race or ethnicity, or looks for that matter. Not one teacher favors one group of students more than the other. This may not be true for all of the schools in Spain, but I recognize the genuine love and respect that these teachers have for each of their students. I’ve watched some of the children struggle with accepting that not everyone looks like them. Little fights break out here and there, but the teachers are always there to set a good example. They always tell the kids, “It doesn’t matter what you look like. I’m no better than anyone here. We are all a team and we have to respect one another and love one another equally.” It’s beautiful, necessary, and powerful because there are plenty of schools in the world that don’t adhere to this belief. Also, this is a crucial developmental stage in a child’s life. I comforted and honored to work in an environment that takes their role seriously. My mind screams, “Family!” every time I think about it.

Oh,  and speaking of family – my soul sister and her fiance came to visit me in Spain! What? Do y’all understand how excited I was to see a familiar face? This is a woman that I look up to. We are about 9 years apart, she is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (the profession I am going into), and she is one of the individuals who sparked my new life journey back in 2015. Needless to say, she is very special to me.

We took tourism to a whole other level. I spent a day and a half with them in Valencia just catching up on life! I then spent another day and a half meeting them in Barcelona, where we saw about 6 amazing sights within 5 hours. Crazy, I know but it was amazing. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything!

*Side note* Spain’s trains are not cheap and the U.S. dollar does not work in our favor here, at least not right now.

Okay, back to it!

I purposely spent a day in a half in Barcelona because I knew I’ll be returning during Christmas time, which is three weeks away.  Again, what? Where is the time going?  Soon I’ll be meeting family that I’ve only ever known through social media. Am I blessed? Yes. Oh, and then my boyfriend is coming to visit for the remainder of the break! When I signed up for this trip I thought I was going to be solo. Thankful is an understatement! It’s a peace of mind to know I have these events to look forward to, especially after the emotional and physical fiasco my body went through prior to the GRE, which I am so glad is over by the way!

I went m.i.a. the day before the test. I did not have the energy to talk to anyone. I was overwhelmed and had knots in my stomach. I can’t express enough my dislike for these types of tests; a test that measures absolutely nothing about who I am and what I am capable of doing. I process things at a slower pace and I need time to grasp concepts. I learn better through writing and discussing the material rather than memorizing it for the sake of getting a good grade. It doesn’t align well with who I am. Nevertheless, I still gave my best on test day, and luckily I don’t get nervous once a test is in front of me. I accept the moment, I breathe, and I do what I can.

When the day of the test arrived, I had to travel three hours on train from Valencia, Spain to Madrid. During that time I had journaled to myself. In that journal entry I wrote:

 ...You did your best. You will do your best. You challenged yourself. You rose to the occasion. Be proud. Smile. Feel love. Be love. Be.

After writing, I let go of all the pressure I had placed on myself. Once I arrived in Madrid, I spent an hour in a coffee shop catching up on some reading. As I drank my delicious mocha coffee and ate my cinnamon bun soaked in Nutella, I came across the passage in the beginning of this blog. I had chills, y’all! I felt at such peace with myself. My world aligned again and I was ready for whatever was to come.

Taking the GRE in a different country was probably the best decision for me. It felt more relaxing to be amongst individuals from different parts of the world. I can’t explain it, it just felt good. At the end of it all, I can honestly say I am content and EXTREMELY thankful for the experience. Oh, I’m also thankful that it’s over! Out of sight and out of mind!

I called everything post-GRE “The journey back to myself.” Between being sick and stressed out about the test, I definitely fell out of touch with myself. I needed to socialize, start working out, and do more sight seeing. This was my new mission. To hold myself accountable, I began writing a list titled, “What do I want to accomplish today?” I would even list something as simple as waking up, which is a great accomplishment for anyone. As someone who is active in the mental health community, I find it extremely beneficial to notice all the “small” things. This type of mindfulness is powerful because things such as waking up can be a difficult task, especially for those like myself who battle depression.  It helps reprogram the brain in more ways than one. For me, it sends a message to my brain that everything I do matters. It reminds me to be impeccable with my words and my actions, especially towards myself. It’s a reminder to never feel less than or shrink at the presence of challenging situations.

So, yeah. All is well my friends. I am learning, growing, and embracing this journey that I am on. I wouldn’t change a thing about this experience.

Talk to you soon,

Rachel

Life Beyond the Vines

P.S. Enjoy the pics! There are some things that don’t need to be put into words.  A picture can say it all.

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