More Farms than Friends

When I think of Bring Your Pet to School Day, my mind thinks of hamsters, dogs, cats, and maybe a fish. Imagine showing up to this spirit day, and there are several lambs, horses, calves, and pigs. All of a sudden, my fish doesn’t seem so impressive. This is the norm at Amuri. Last week, we had Pet Day, where the kids brought in a variety of animals. This day, I really realized just how much I am living out in the country. The kids traded their school uniforms for cowboy boots and their books for lambs on a leash. It was one of those days that feels just absurd enough to feel like a dream, but just normal enough to be real. It is a day that children’s books are based on. The kids were so proud of the ways they have taught these farm animals to walk on a leash, wear costumes, and be friendly with strangers. This was by far one of the most fun days at school yet, and it was a gift to see so many children so proud of their pets.

To follow the classic rural New Zealand events, I spent last weekend at an A&P show, which is similar to an American county fair. At this event, people come and show off all sorts of animals. The sheep dogs compete to herd sheep the quickest, the horses compete to jump the highest, the ponies are paraded around, and the sheep are judged for the wool and weight. Farmers bring their tractors, and the locals bring their families. I felt like I got to step deep into the rural South Island culture. 

Last weekend was also All Saints’ Day, which means I got to rekindle my passion for making balloon animals at the parish carnival. There is nothing quite like twisting a balloon to make a kid smile, because one thing that brings a smile to every kid is the whimsy of a monkey on a tree on a hat balloon. 

One struggle I have been experiencing during my time here is finding people to be friends with. I have a roommate from Germany who just turned 19 and is very introverted. We find ourselves with very different interests and in very different life stages, so while we are cordial, we have not really created a friendship. My other roommate lives in Christchurch, but works at the school, so she stays here during the school week. She is about 50 and loves extreme sports, so she can often be found doing some sort of adventure race or challenge. She is also very friendly, but our different life stages and hobbies (and bluntly, how much more athletic her hobbies are than I am capable of) make a more extensive friendship challenging. We always have a nice chat at dinner, but find ourselves on different mountains over the weekends. 
There have been multiple families who have generously invited me into their homes for dinner or teachers at school who offer small talk, but I do not know anyone else my age who lives in my town. During the week, I attend a faith group, which consists of families with infants (and therefore not much capacity to create new friendships); I am part of a crafting group which consists almost exclusively of ladies in retirement; I have attended a women’s Bible study, which only had women over 40 in it; and ultimately, I have not found anyone around my age to befriend. Of course I do consider these wonderful folks friends to an extent, but you cannot exactly ask a mom of 5 to go on a hike with you over the weekend, and you certainly cannot go with one of the nice elderly ladies from your knitting group. Families are often busy attending to matters on the farm, and Kiwi culture can be generally to oneself- a friendly chat is encouraged, but going deeper is challenging. 
It seems to me that my location is the primary limitation I face regarding meeting new friends. The town I live in has 400 residents, mostly farmers. This solitude offers the benefit of respite from the demands of living in a densely populated city, but at times can feel lonely.  It seems as though all the young adults live in the nearest city, Christchurch, which is about an hour and a half away. This presents a hurdle in developing a consistent friendship with folks I may know in town because of the time it takes to get there and the skyrocketing fuel prices. I also am not integrated into the community in town, so it is challenging to know where to go to make friends in a place I do not live. 
I did, however, happen to make a fortunate connection at Mass last week. I started a conversation with the woman next to me after the service. She was one of those people who truly care about the heart and the whole person in front of her. She ended up inviting me to a conference some people she knew were running in Christchurch on the Theology of the Body. I love the Theology of the Body, so I cleared my calendar (I had nothing planned) and booked a ticket. Upon arrival, I met some lovely other young adults who cared deeply about God and people. When I told them I live in Culverden, they expressed their surprise at a young adult living here. I felt validated in that my experience matches the locals’ perception. We spent the weekend diving into the Theology of the Body, a stream of theology I love, aimed at explaining the purpose of man and woman and our bodies. In the end, the group made sure I knew I was welcome and wanted at any young adults events the parish hosts and added me to their group chat, which provides a glimmer of hope for closer community during my final month here. The drive may be tough to make every week, especially given most of their events begin at 7 pm, but it is definitely a trek worth making when I can. 
The most hopeful news on the friendship front at this moment is that my best friend, who also happens to be my fiancé, arrives tomorrow to visit me and to (hopefully) run the Queenstown Marathon. If you are currently reading this before November 15, 2026, please pray that his legs would be healed from an injury and he would be able to run without pain. He has trained so hard, and I am so excited to get to support this upcoming race. I love you, Jason!