the uncomfortable

There is something to be said about living in the uncomfortable. My experience here has pushed me outside my comfort zone in exceptional ways. Often conversation with the team from last week revolved around the discomforts of the heat, bugs, driving, language barrier, easily losing electricity and water, and unfamiliar foods. They would say things like I do not know how you do it… I could never stay last longer than a week… don’t you miss xyz soo much. 

While these comments are totally normal and to be expected, if I’m honest they hurt and frustrated me. To me the physical discomforts feel so temporary and small in comparison to the bigger picture of why I love it here. Though maybe not intentional, comments like these can come off as superior or condescending towards the country and people, which angers me. There is often a lack of awareness that one terribly uncomfortable week is actually everyday life here for so many people.

I think it is incredibly important to let our eyes be opened to how blessed we are and consider ways we can give back instead of running back home to our comfortable life and never looking back. When Mother Terese was asked why she and her sisters live such a materialistic simple life she said something along the lines of when my patient talks about how hard it was to sleep because of the heat last night I want to be able to truly sympathize with them. I want to understand even a sliver of their experience by choosing to live in the discomfort. 

Living through some of the discomforts alongside my patients and friends here strengthens my relationships with them. It makes me smile when we all talk about the feeling when we loose power in the early morning and our fans go out, or when there is no water but you wanted to shower, or when a cockroach lands on your shoulder. When I’m uncomfortable – sweating through my clothes, cranky from the car traffic, disgusted by a bug in my room- I try to remind myself to offer up my personal discomfort in gratitude for the kindness constantly showered upon me by the people here and to count my blessings. My personal discomfort is a reminder that I did not choose to pursue Lumos for my personal comfort or desires but for the people here, for my patients, for the kids, and above all, for the Lord. 

Now for a quick little recap of my week… 

Highs:

•  going out to icecream with a patient
• creating a fun game for a pediatric patient
• laughing making french fries with a friend 

Lows:

• heat rashes 
• anxiety around Spanish 
• saying goodbye to another kiddo 

God moments:

• praying before breakfast with the mothers and kiddos 
• going to mass 
• being welcomed into friends’ homes