I have officially finished my placement at Fighting Words NI. My colleagues made my last day so special! In the morning, I had my last workshop ever and I was storymaker. The class was a group of P5s, and they were enthusiastic and imaginative. We ended up writing a fantastical story about a blue monster and a motorbike with pink flames. I won’t give too much more away, but you can see how it ends on the Fighting Words website. I got teary at the end when one student eagerly asked if he could publish his own story in a real book and another wrote on her feedback card that she was proud of herself. It was the perfect workshop to end on, equal parts fun and meaningful, and it embodied everything that I love about working in this format.

We were originally planning to have my goodbye lunch in the cafe in our building, but my coworkers surprised me by taking me to my favorite sushi restaurant, Kamakura. I got my usual, the smoked salmon and rocket roll, and we chatted and chowed. When we got back to the Crescent, Aoife presented me with a homemade chocolate raspberry cake and my family joined us for coffee. It was fun to watch members of my old and new home mix and mingle, laughing together and asking thoughtful questions. I left with an armful of beautifully sentimental gifts: a card and a book with lovely inscriptions from all my colleagues, a claddagh ring from St George’s Market, and a mini booklet with stories and teacher feedback from some workshops I’ve led and photos of our adventures together.

On the back of the booklet was a line from a story written in one of my recent workshops: “She had no map, so she decided to go by heart.” I think that about sums up the last 9 months. I had no guide for how to build a new life in a foreign country. I arrived last September alone and hopeful. I am leaving with a heart full of love and a mind full of new learnings. I had the privilege of working with people who welcomed me not just as a colleague, but as a friend. I learned from them, and from the joyous children who repeatedly bolstered my faith in creativity and goodness. I led workshops, went on field trips, attended networking events, moved countless bean cubes, and got published in the Irish Times. I hiked with friends, tried boxing, joined a choir, took spontaneous EasyJet weekend trips, and learned to love being alone. I discovered more about who I am and what I want in life and vocation. I am a changed woman!

Thank you to all of you who have followed along this journey! It means so much to me that you have taken the time to read my words. Thank you to the Lumos Foundation for making this incredibly formative experience possible. Goodbye for now, and see you soon, USA!

These past two weeks, I was with the five-year-olds and three-year-olds. The five-year-olds were way more relaxed than the four-year-olds, which was refreshing. It was crazy to think that just a few weeks prior, they were the four-year-olds who would tire me out. I had a lot of fun with them. I have a strong connection with a student with Down Syndrome. It was great to see her again. There was a moment this week when I was communicating with the vice principal, and Google Translate did not work, but I could understand her well enough to respond in Japanese. The staff was so excited, and honestly, I was too. My communication is improving! 

There is a new student in the five-year-old class. She recently transitioned from their academy for disabled children, so she is having some difficulty adjusting to the school’s routines and expectations. She does not get overstimulated easily, but she has difficulty processing verbal instructions. She is very tactile, sensory seeking, so patting her arm repeatedly or swaying while she sits on my lap helps keep her calm. She has the sweetest laugh when something excites her. I could tell she was most likely autistic, and that was confirmed by the teachers. The attitudes about autism here are different from what I am used to. The teachers treat it as a very sad burden, which it can be, but Americans usually have a more nuanced and well-rounded view of autism, from my personal experience. For example, many teachers were shocked that my sister has a job and a driver’s license despite being autistic, whereas in the United States, that is not usually as surprising. Since the teachers have seen how well I work with the kids with disabilities, they have put me with them more frequently. I don’t mind, I have been working with people with disabilities almost my whole life, so I am comfortable with that responsibility. I have also been given the responsibility of helping the kids who have trouble falling asleep at naptime fall asleep. I am usually able to get them sleeping, and it makes me feel very accomplished.

The school hired a magician to come and entertain the children one day. It was a very cute performance that the kids were extremely excited to see. All morning, the kids kept reminding me about the magic show. The show was great, I could tell how he did many of the tricks, but there were a few at the end that I have no clue how he did them. 

I did music therapy with the two-year-olds. They are so adorable! Many of them were curious about my guitar, so I gave them all turns to strum at the end of my session. I was impressed with how well they followed my instructions. Typically, children of this age group need extra assistance, so I was prepared for that, but they understood everything very well. They followed all my movements during the instrument play without needing verbal instruction to do so. They loved using the egg shakers. They loved my modified freeze dance and thought it was so funny when we were all frozen. They even did great listening to my lyrical cues in a movement song to catch what movement they needed to do. When I did music therapy with the three-year-olds they sang very loudly and were great at identifying their colors!

After I finished music therapy with the three-year-olds the five-year-olds came into the gym and the teachers told me not to go anywhere. One of the teachers went to the piano and began to play “Happy Birthday!” All the children and staff sang to me and gave me a little crown. It was so incredibly sweet that I started tearing up! Over the weekend I had a great birthday! My host family took me to a wonderful local Italian restaurant. My friend Emma told me that when I get back she is going to pay for us to go skydiving as my birthday present! That was the most exciting gift I could ever ask for! It gives me a really big bucket list task to look forward to when I am back in America!

I got a day off from volunteering because Naoko (my program director) wanted to take me out to do a cultural experience in Japan. She took me to an old onsen in an old castle that is owned by her friend. It had the most stunning mountain views! It was relaxing and full of history. It is hard to describe how it felt, but being immersed in another culture like this is an incredible feeling. Naoko told me all the nice things the nursery school staff had told her. According to Naoko, they told her that they love having me and appreciate the initiative I take in the classrooms to help the teachers. They also told her that they are incredibly impressed with my music therapy sessions and how professional I am. They were even worried I was overworking myself on the music therapy plans because of how well they have been going! It was incredibly flattering to hear that and reassured me of the difference and impact I am making. The staff even told Naoko they are considering hiring a music therapist to come to the school after I am gone! Which is exactly the goal of my work here! After the onsen, Naoko took me to meet a music therapist her husband met at a conference. She did not know much about him or his work, so she was a bit nervous. I got to observe two of his sessions, and they were incredible!! He is amazingly talented and everything I was taught in college. I got to ask him questions in between the sessions and learned that he is one of the pioneers of music therapy in Japan! He is one of the founders of Japan’s music therapy association! I was stunned and amazed. Naoko had no idea either! What an incredible opportunity that came about as the result of many coincidences lining up in perfect timing. It shows God’s faithfulness and was, yet again, more reassurance that this is where God wants me to be. The next day after volunteering I went to my friend Megan’s apartment since she was hosting an event. We all ate taco rice and played a new board game. I had a great time!

My friend Hiro took me to a Toyohashi baseball game. It was super fun! The crowd was very excited throughout the entire game. I liked watching them play. They were not MLB-level players, but it turned out to be an exciting game. Toyohashi won as well!! Hiro and I got to know each other a lot better, and despite being so different, we relate on a lot as well. It is nice to have a friend. Over the weekend, my sister and I played video games like we used to when I was at my internship. I also hopped on a call with Emma and Allie for crochet club, but I forgot to buy yarn. It was still fun, though! It was nice and relaxing. I have been taking my weekends slowly and trying to be present.

It has been two months since I moved out of my island bedroom. Since then, I signed a lease for a duplex in a new part of Nashville, got a full-time and a seasonal job, completed my Lumos presentation requirement at Belmont, and more. On my one-month marker of returning home, I was overlooking the Smoky Mountains with a friend I made in 2023 in Seattle, Washington, while on a mission trip with Belmont. We were at a work conference—almost two years later, and we ran into each other as new co-workers, spending our final moments of the conference having a great conversation about the similar bends and turns our lives had taken. Despite our two-year gap in conversations, we were able to bond over experiences that were significant to us.

These moments that stitch together the years, like a rope bridge between two seemingly isolated experiences, offer me an abundance of hope. There’s a lot that happens in the in-between, but all I feel is relief when a great memory from the past is refreshed into something new.

This phenomenon is what I am seeking with the DR. I remind myself that I have yet to inherit the full-impact of how my time in the DR will affect my work and personal life in the States. Because now, in the months since I returned home, there’s been a gap—how can I bring some of the DR with me? I ask myself. My time there was distinctly personal, an experience that only my mind’s eye can conjure images from. Now, my environments, work, and life rhythms have completely shifted. I’ve been affected by it—by the girls, work, experiences, sorrows, laughs, and growth that has resulted from my nine months. A distinctly significant “bridge” moment with another person has yet to come, but I am reminded of the DR often: when I brew coffee in my red greca, listen to merengue, pass a motorcycle on the street, or smell the rich scent of plumeria. 

On my final day in the DR, bags stacked by the door, I received an email from a publishing house concerning a job I thought I wasn’t going to get. To my surprise, the company offered me a full-time position as a managing editor, complete with a salary, insurance, PTO, and an office to commute to daily. I couldn’t believe how this was all coming together. Going back home brought concerns of dreading the empty space in my professional life. Now, in a matter of days, it was completely filled. As I shared the news with the Reyes’, I spoke with an uncertainty in my voice that it couldn’t all be real. I hadn’t prepared for both leaving the DR and New Hope Girls, and beginning a new job to happen at once. As I spent my last day eating a good meal and spending time with their family, it hit me that I was really going home, really saying bye. I had things waiting for me back home, even. It didn’t seem real.

Two months later, and I’m still trying to bring things together. My arms feel full with all the memories I’m trying not to forget, and the future plans I’m trying to make. I’m collecting many things, and the display is a bit eclectic at the moment. Now that I am post-grad, I am learning how to furnish my adult life—mentally and physically. Time is now my most finite resource, and I’m currently ambling through a delayed realization that life no longer orbits around hanging out, going to class, and picking up a shift at my old low–stakes, part-time retail job. Now, I have five hours of free time after my 9-to-5, excluding the hours dedicated to simple human maintenance. My friends experienced this last year, and they offer pro-tips when asked—and I have certainly been asking. Like the DR, it’s a new challenge I’m grateful for.

Time moved slowly in the DR, as if I were wading through a swallow ocean. Nashville moves at the pace of morning traffic; at once stalled, then all at once rushed down I-65 S with a Buick on your tail. When I’m not experiencing one, I oddly miss the other. I’ve been missing the DR; but if I went back, I’d miss Nashville again. Reality is somewhere sitting still inside the paradox, and I am spinning a bit. However, I know I am currently in the right place for this time of life. Although, as content as I am, I still fantasize about my future.

I have aspirations of working abroad again as an ESL teacher in a Spanish-speaking country, or maybe working in international publishing in Europe; I’ll always have an interest in furthering my education and my experiences in non-profit work, and my interest in having my own classroom has not left me either—but that is for another time. I rest knowing that, so far, I was in the right places at the right times, even if I didn’t realize it. And, even better, I’ll always be unafraid to travel now. There’s places I haven’t seen yet, and there’s friends to visit in the DR.

I’m so thankful for this experience. From a young age, my curiosity toward the rest of the world became the definitive motive for a lot of what I chose to do. Reading was my first vehicle for world exploration, and that desire to see something new—once explored exclusively through libraries and bookshelves—has now become a tangible reality, and books have become the accessory to that. Ironically, it has all come full circle. The thing that equipped me with a desire to see the world (reading) has become the thing I help create for people all over the world (books). I was lucky to get to go to the DR, and I’m proud that while there I helped create a book that can bring the DR to people all over the world so they can witness the profound work that New Hope Girls is doing, and the joy resulting from rescue.

Until next time,

Hasta luego,

Lauren

last night – we painted mugs, and I was gifted one.

A group trip to Samana island

my Lumos presentation

Papa John’s – final dinner with my roommates

My last conference with New Hope Girls!

noche de moda!!

My goal for May was to treat Belfast like I’m on vacation here. Instead of planning a weekend trip to somewhere else, I allocated my travel energy and budget towards exploring as much of Belfast as I could. The second half of May was just as jam-packed with fun as the first! I sniffed blooming roses in the Botanic Gardens, swayed to jazz at the MAC on a rainy day, tried Sojourn Coffee’s famous cinnamon bun, hit the Wild Thing pose at an afternoon yoga class, sipped lavender lemonade at the Belfast Continental Market, danced to a DJ set at BABBA, and demolished some punching bags and danced in a trampoline class at Challenge Training Studio. 

I’ve also taken some day trips to nearby places! There was a Grammy-nominated choir called VOCES8 doing a concert in a tiny coastal town called Portaferry. A woman from my choir offered me a free ticket, and another woman offered to give me a ride! Our drive was sunny and breezy, sunglasses and short sleeves weather. We had to cross water to get there, so I experienced my first car ferry. I was duly impressed. Elizabeth had packed an amazing picnic spread, so we enjoyed smoked mackerel, apricot cheese, wheaten bread, cherry tomatoes on the vine, strawberries, and dark chocolate.  I’m drooling just remembering it. We sat by the seaside and talked about all sorts of things. There was a workshop before the concert where they taught us some of the methodology behind the way they sing. We practiced engaging our cores and changing our resonance. We made a pretty good choir, as an audience, but it was nothing compared to what VOCES8 could do. They had a truly angelic sound, in an almost haunting way. They sang a song I knew from my choir days in Nashville, which felt like a sweet nod to my roots and my impending return. On the way home, glasslike water reflected the pink clouds above as we sped through the rural hills. It was a beautiful day, all sponsored by the kindness and generosity of others. This is what good community looks like!

At work, we’re all very aware of my impending departure. I’m a sentimental person, so I’ve been savoring a lot of lasts: last team meeting, last time leading a Zoom workshop, last coffee in the café downstairs, last time moving the bean cubes (that one I’m not sad about–refer to my earlier blog posts if you want the lore). I’ve enjoyed some special events such as a networking lunch with Queen’s students looking for a place to do their internships next year, and a visit from some American students who are interested in peacemaking and reconciliation work. I’ve also been working on some things that I won’t be here to see come to fruition, like researching and ordering a fan for the office (which gets quite hot in the summer with no AC) and arranging an office schedule to differentiate quiet and social working hours. I keep joking that I’m planting the seeds, and they’ll enjoy the tree’s shade, or whatever that famous quote is. I don’t think it’s quite sunk in that this won’t be my workplace for much longer, that I won’t be able to have an afternoon cuppa with my colleagues or walk to the Seamus Heaney Centre for a morning workshop. I’m really sad to be going; I think a job like this is really special and rare. But I’m soaking in these last moments and feeling my gratitude wholeheartedly!

These past two weeks, I was with the four-year-olds. The kids have gotten to know me since I have been here for three months. It is exciting to see my impact on the children. They recognize me at school and in public, get excited when they see me, run up to me for hugs and high fives, and get sad when I leave the school or can’t play with them. It can get hard with all the kids wanting time with me, I wish I could duplicate myself so every kid can have fun without debating who gets to play with me. One day, when we took the kids on a walk to a park, I taught a few kids how to swing. Some of them were trying to pump their legs, but the swing wasn’t moving or pumping opposite to how they should be. I got on a free swing, taught the kids how to do it, and then helped them. Two more kids now know how to swing independently! I was so proud of them!

I have been getting mistaken for a Brazilian more frequently. Many Brazilian immigrant parents at the nursery school see me and ask if I am also Brazilian. I get mixed reactions when I tell them I am American, but it is interesting how often people assume I am from Brazil. 

Despite only being with the four-year-olds, I did music therapy with both the three and four-year-old classes. The three-year-olds were so cute! I brought musical activities to promote socialization and listening. Listening skills are where they need the most growth. They can follow directions and nonverbal cues beautifully. However, listening carefully for specific cues is more difficult. 

I have started making myself chicken onigiri for lunch. The recipe is inspired by my favorite recipe back home, making my lunches so much tastier. On Wednesday, after volunteering, I was picked up by a friend I met at the park on Easter weekend. He took me to his friend’s grandmother’s house for a barbecue. There was another American there, so I had someone to talk to and understand the conversation. The food was incredible! After eating, I brought out my guitar and sang “Country Roads.” It was an enjoyable time. I have been talking much more on the phone with my best friend Emma. She has been great to help me get through the heartbreak of being broken up with. She has even started sending me a daily Pinterest post with an inspirational message to go with it. In my free time, I have been doing everything possible to care for myself. Prayer, feeling my feelings, calling loved ones, exercising, as well as letting myself veg out with snacks and video games. 

I finished my itinerary for my trip to South Korea and packed as much fun stuff as I could into my schedule. Even though I had to go alone, all the activities I planned got me very excited for my trip. The day I flew to Korea was nice, except customs confused me, and I got stressed. Thankfully, some employees helped me kindly. My hotel was awesome, and it had an amazing view of the street it was on. The location was incredible, right in the middle of street markets, cafes, and arcades. My first night there I was waiting in line for a restaurant, and the family in frot of me kindly offered to let me eat with them. It was a husband and wife with the wife’s mother. The couple was in Seoul from California and told me how they immigrated to the United States when they were both young. They have four kids, two of whom are incredibly talented creatives. I was able to tell them all about music therapy and what I do in Japan. They ended up paying for my meal and wishing me God’s blessings and prayers. It was incredibly sweet and an experience that is so unique. It was an experience I wouldn’t expect to have in the United States. Normally, I would be wary of strangers, but Seoul is one of the safest cities in the world! I felt very comfortable. I will miss that when I come home, both Japan and South Korea are incredibly safe countries. The next day I got up early because I had a reservation to rent a hanbok: a traditional Korean dress often worn by royalty. I felt sooo pretty, and the best part was that if you where a hanbok to Gyeonbukgung palace, you get in for free! I spent the entire morning at the palace before going to Bukchon village. I met many Japanese tourists there and was able to hold entire conversations in Japanese! I got many compliments from the Japanese people I met. After returning my hanbok, I had a very delicious lunch! South Korean fried chicken with sweet potatoes. Oh my goodness… おいし！After a food coma nap, I ended the day at N tower. The views were beautiful! Even though I went to bed late, I still managed to wake up before my alarm the next morning. I had a delicious bagel from a cafe near my hotel called Onjisim. It was one of the few cafes open since most do not open until 10 am! The culture in Seoul is so nightlife-based that even coffee shops don’t open early. I went outside of Seoul to go to a spa called “Cimer”. It was amazing, they had multiple floors of pools, experiences, snack bars, and saunas. They even had two waterslides! I started my day at the spa with a massage, then I hit all the pools and slides, and ended my time with the saunas. After I got back to my hotel, I walked down to the night market. I ate a bunch of Korean street food and explored the shops and booths for last-minute souvenirs. Flying home went incredibly smoothly. I had such a blast in South Korea! I am so grateful I got that opportunity, and now my visa is all good for the rest of my trip in Japan! It was also nice to go shortly after my breakup. It was a great time and helped me feel better. I have moved into a new phase of the healing process, and I am proud of myself for how well I have been taking this and how healthily I have been processing it. The following weekend, after coming back from South Korea, I gave myself some music therapy in the park by doing some songwriting.

These past few weeks have felt like a blur — a mix of late nights, long to-do lists, and a lot of moments that have pushed me far outside my comfort zone. Between wrapping up my exhibition project and jumping into a new project with my local organization, the pace has been nonstop. But somehow, in all the chaos, I’ve found time to reflect on what it is I am doing here.

A few weeks ago, I was invited to help the local church here prepare for its 40th anniversary — a milestone that holds deep meaning, especially considering the nation of Kosovo just celebrated its 17th. I was asked to design a commemorative book that would document the church’s history. It began with digitizing decades of photos and documents — a time-consuming process, but a meaningful one. These weren’t just documents, they were memories. Ones that had survived war, displacement, and the test of time. Holding these photos in my hands reminded me why I started this journey in the first place: to help preserve the stories that matter.

Working on this project has given me more than just a breather from the unknowns of my own work. It’s reminded me of what I do know. It’s given me a space to use my skills confidently while still contributing to something bigger than myself. And through it, I’ve found new material that’s helped inform my exhibition as well as hold a place in it. I now have access to old news clippings, photographs, and timelines that capture the strength and sacrifice of this community. An opportunity that I never expected to happen.

Still, I’ll be honest, a lot of this journey has felt like walking into the dark with only a small flashlight. There’s been no professor grading me, no project partner to bounce ideas off of, and no clear roadmap laid out. It’s just been me — writing, filming, editing, interviewing — and hoping I’m doing it all justice. There have been countless moments where I’ve been hit with waves of self-doubt, of imposter syndrome, of wondering if I’m capable of capturing something so layered and important.

For a long time, I avoided writing about that part. I felt guilty making this project about my experience when the whole reason I’m here is to spotlight the voices of others. I felt guilty because so many people put their trust in me, and I was scared that any sign of weakness would put doubt in their heads as well as mine. But I think the truth is, is that this is a part of the story I am telling. We are all faced with the unknown. Whether that’s in our work, our country’s future, or our personal lives. But we must step into it nonetheless. 

There have been days when my fears screamed louder than my confidence — fears that I would fail, that I wouldn’t be enough, that I would let people down. But every time I’ve felt that fear and still shown up — whether that’s conducting an interview, navigating cultural barriers, or simply eating alone at a restaurant — I’ve proven to myself that I can. I am not faced with the same things that my interview candidates are, which has only fueled my ability to face unknowns in my own life and project. 

My project is far from over, with a whole new set of challenges waiting for me when my time finishes up at the end of the month and I head home to build this exhibition. However, I am ready to step into the unknown and truly see what is waiting for me at the end of this experience, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the time that I have had here in Kosovo.