Thoughts & Feelings from the Middle of the Storm

Hey all! I hope you’re hanging in there and enjoying the changing of the seasons. Though I typically enjoy summery weather, I have to admit that this time of year fills me with a deep nostalgia for the U.S. Midwest. Football season is underway, the leaves are changing color, sweaters are coming out of storage, and the smell of pumpkin and spice wafts through the air. While I’d love to hit a corn maze and drink apple cider with my family and childhood friends, Guadalajara is also going through its own beautiful changes (though the temperature seems to be stubbornly unmoving). There are some signs of early preparation for Día de Los Muertos celebrations, the occasional breeze provides temporary respite from the heat, and this Tuesday, all of Mexico will be watching as Claudia Sheinbaum, becomes their first female president.

In this season marked with both uncertainty and excitement, I have been feeling burnt out, to put it frankly. Things are moving along nicely at the shelter, and I am looking forward to taking on new responsibilities as I start to get involved in a more administrative aspect. I’m also loving my social life, trying to balance rest with my desire to leverage the limited time I have left here. Despite all that, I have been feeling a bit off-balance. When I get home from my shift, I typically feel more tired than I expect, and it’s hard for me to keep my energy flowing. I sometimes feel overwhelmed as I go to bed and consider what tomorrow will bring; often, my hyperactive mind simply does not let me rest.

While it’s tempting to blame myself for what I’m feeling, the other day I remembered that I’m achieving much more than I had anticipated. When I imagined this work, I pictured myself stripping and making beds, cleaning rooms, and washing dishes. Of course, there is value in that work (and physical labor is still in the equation), but I had never imagined that I’d be making real connections with immigrants and refugees, tending directly to their needs and offering dignifying support day-by-day. I’m performing intake interviews and connecting folks from vulnerable populations with potentially life-altering resources. Not to mention, I’m doing all of this and navigating the city in Spanish every minute of the day. 

I don’t write all this just to brag or boost my ego, but rather to appreciate such a special opportunity and also contextualize my emotions. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to adapt to a new culture, navigate in a new language, or take on unexpected tasks and challenges. However, I’m quick to forget just how much growth can happen in a few months. So, though there are times when I feel overwhelmed and just stuck, I am proud of the confidence I’ve built up and all that I’ve accomplished so far. Here’s to (a bit less than) two more months of listening, learning, and loving the little things!

Un abrazo, 

Aaron