Super real post, get ready.
I was honestly just waiting for the tearful, beautiful, difficult, frustrating, joyful, laughable week to arrive and here we are.
It is 11:16pm and I am standing under my fan waiting for my scabies cream to dry. Just so you know what’s going on, there’s that visual.
When I said yes to this journey, I knew what I was saying yes to but didn’t realize how much it could impact me. This week, two new girls arrived to the safe house with stories that have allowed me to see the world in a different light. I get frustrated with that different light sometimes but I am grateful to have it but most times I am angry with it. Many want to ignore that light, ignore the part of life that can break our hearts, but there is something that happens within us when we look straight into that light. Looking straight into this light can hurt our eyes but more so, it can hurt our hearts. When we look straight at it, we can’t ignore it, it stays in our eyes and creates those little white stars when we look away.
These stories shine bright in our direction at New Hope and we don’t walk away, we won’t walk away. We walk toward this hurtful, frustrating, burning light. Looking at the world in this “different light” can hurt so much but it can be so wonderful once you touch the light and care for the light.
I prayed a few years ago for the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His. I really do wonder why the heck I prayed that prayer. I guess I was just young and with no idea just how much God would show me. I found myself experiencing the answer to this prayer when the girl arrived to the safe house this week. I had been told her story a few moments before she arrived and I knew she was coming so I was preparing some clothes for her and found myself crying over a bin of socks. Her story is one of the toughest that we have heard but she is safe now. She is that light, shining bright for us to see.
Now here I am waiting for my scabies cream to dry, reflecting.
Each day is a new day here at New Hope. Each day is new light. My boss and friend, Joy, told me that she has this weird thing that happens when she tries to remember someone. She said that she doesn’t see their face, she can’t picture them. But she remembers the way they made her feel or the words that she remembers them saying. I feel like she sees the light in them, she sees the inner being within. This is the light, the light that burns and hurts but is wonderful.
After my tough week, Joy wrote some poems for me. I thought I’d share them here:
She is 11 with the stature of 7
I wonder why she is so tiny
I wonder how anyone could look at her
and see anything but a tiny
There are 1,000 stories that bring our girls to us
and 1 thing they all have in common
someone, sometime – sometimes many, many times
looked at her and didn’t see
a prize, a piece, a possession
an opportunity, an object
Today as we held up new clothes to her waif of a body
We choked back tears
Because all we could see was a GIRL
And Today she begins the journey
to see herself as she truly is
Full of wonder
Created for a purpose
A Holy purpose
New Hope Days
She wasn’t prepared for what
She’d see or experience
even though we told her..
She had no idea how the dark stories
would literally break her heart
She had no idea how deep
she would love and laugh
How hard she would fall
Tonight she stands beneath a fan
trying to process her day
between tears and belly laughs
as her scabie cream dries. –LOL
and she prepares her mind for sleep
because tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow truly is another day. Another day to fight, another day to laugh, another day to shine bright. The school year is upon us here in La Vega. Uniforms are ready. Vera Bradley backpacks are filled with supplies. And the light of New Hope is excited to enter school.
Goodbye summer, hello number 2 pencils, fresh markers, & eager learners!