Ansanm n’ap vanse. Together we move forward.

My high school freshman year RTI teacher had a sign by the door of her classroom saying,

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

It was in that room that I first read this powerful proverb and where Haiti first came on my radar after the earthquake in 2010. While regretfully I could not have cared less about the plight of Haitians at the time whilst reading article after article about the devastation and watching CNN’s reports on the television, a seed was planted that sprouted three years later and is being watered now eight years after sitting in that room. Isn’t it funny how much things change over time.

We recently observed the eighth anniversary of the 2010 earthquake on January 12^th, a 7.0 magnitude trembling of the earth that lasted for 58 seconds and killed somewhere around 300,000 people (depending on whether you look at Haitian or international records). Haiti was already in ruins and bodies were rotting from poverty long before the buildings around the capital of Port au Prince reflected the internal corruption of the state, a physical manifestation of the country’s condition long before international attention was drawn to the natural disaster.

The sobering entrance of the mass grave site where thousands of bodies were dumped after the 2010 earthquake. “Haiti will not forget.”

Lack of enforced building codes, overpopulated living conditions, less than developed national infrastructure, corrupt NGOs, a cholera outbreak killing thousands in 2011, and a plethora of other factors left the already devastated former Pearl of the Caribbean in unspeakable conditions that you can still see evidence of today. There are still tent cities on the outskirts of Port au Prince, rubble to be cleaned up, and billions of dollars in promised aid that have yet to reach the ground.

But today, we make the conscious decision to move forward together. Ansanm n’ap vanse.

Those words on the side of the bus caught my attention while in PAP quite a few months ago, but it wasn’t until earlier in January that I was finally aware and in position to snap a quick photo. How fitting, as I spent most of January preparing for Disciples’ Village business leader training that will begin the first full week of February. The premise of these training meetings will be to raise up business leaders in each of our partnering villages to be the future face of our microfinance, business and money management training, God willing.

We will work towards building better economic frameworks and to move our communities forward, together.

My vision for these meetings is to pour into a few leaders so they can then overflow into those interested in starting or growing their own businesses in their respective communities. Ideally, they will be learning and simultaneously working on job creation projects to put their new knowledge to action and save the frustration of a foreigner trying to get the truth while doing the ground market research. Besides, our business leaders know their communities far deeper than I ever will and can share what they have witnessed is needed and best. In my mind, it’s a win-win—Disciples’ Village can move forward in creating jobs while using the projects to train up forward thinking entrepreneurs.

My coworker and I chilling before meeting with business leaders from Trouforban.

I am quite hopeful for what will become of these times of training, as all the business leaders I met with in preparation were gracious, thirsty to learn more to advance or start their own businesses, and more than willing to pass along what they will learn with the vision of developing businesses and jobs in their communities. We will see how it begins come this Wednesday and biweekly thereafter.

All in all, January might have been my favorite month in Haiti to date. Joy bubbled out of my heart from finally moving in a direction with economic development and job creation that I’ve been dreaming of for a while, checking a few things off my Haiti bucket list and planning/preparing to check of some more in the coming weeks, spending time soaking up some sun and benefiting from time spent away from thinking about work, the ‘winter’ months are bringing in much cooler temps, and an abundance of sweet moments every day.

I’m beyond thankful for the highs, the lows, and the many lessons learned and things experienced this month—bring on February! For now, here are bullet summaries from the events that occurred in the past month.

Highlights and Joys

• What’s the best thing about Haiti? Easily the people. Their contagious smiles and humorous personalities elicit such joy in each day.
• Visiting a medical clinic for a day. Initially, I went to observe for a short time because I have never seen a clinic before and ended up helping out with translating/explaining the medicines to the patients. So much joy and expansion of my Kreyol vocabulary that day. The clinic saw 127 people and I had the honor of talking with every single one of them.
• My room is finished and has become an oasis away from the crazy of life in Haiti. I’m so thankful for a lovely place to chill, get work done, and rest. The yellow walls and white furniture with Christmas lights over my bed have become my home. I now have a chair to sit in, places to hang and put away my clothes, and storage space for the abundance of things I have a 1 in 100,000 chance of needing—but at least I can find them now!
• Finishing my work early one day and getting to ‘captain’ the boat while Bill and a coworker went scuba diving. I had a great time soaking up some vitamin D, enjoying the uninterrupted peace and quiet surrounded by God’s glorious creation, and reading a book written by a fellow expat in Haiti who has created over 200 jobs through a social enterprise called Papillion.
• Coffee tastings with dear friends who also work with DV.
• A trip to a new region of the country to visit our ground keeper’s family. The valleys of Haiti are covered in dark fertile soil producing such beauty that I could not take my eyes off of everything green around me to get any good pictures. The man-made phone camera does not do God’s green earth justice anyways. Happy tears came to my eyes several times that day from the beauty of the earth and all the love shown by Jean Claude’s family. They shared their home, coconut water, food, and they even gave us an avocado tree seedling—something I have been wanting since moving to Haiti!

Challenges, Struggles, and Heartbreak

• A gas shortage at the beginning of January made it difficult to get around with outrageously priced tap taps few and far between and DV rightfully conserving gas. Word on the street is that this happens around the same time every year—good to know for the future to prepare in the weeks ahead. It was quite comical (and understandable) to see motos and cars swarming the pumps at the gas stations waiting for the fuel to come. I never got a clear answer on why this happens. Some locals said the ship with gas on it was late in coming, I read some allegations that the US’s oil dealings with Venezuela influenced this shortage, and a plethora of other things. In searching the web to find where Haiti imports oil/propane/gas from, I came across a splendid website that broke down percentages of imports/exports from country to country, publishing that Haiti received 89-91% of its propane/gas from the USA in the last few years. Interesting.
• No avocados to be found on the street or in the markets—a sad time in Haiti.
• Lately I’ve had a hard time being present. All too often I find myself looking through old pictures, dwelling on the great times I had in college, and looking forward to seeing family and friends. This is the first time I can remember ever recognizing that I’m not ‘living in the moment’. While I believe it is good to learn from the past and to work towards the future, it’s about balance, and sometimes I have teetered too far away from what’s going on in front of me right now.
• A sweet mother of four girls from one of our partnering villages has held a special place in my heart for about a year now. Last year around this time she came to a medical clinic a few days away from dying because she had been giving all her food to her daughters and eating a rat here and there when she could catch them. DV was able to take her under our wing and things were looking up. A few weeks ago, I learned that her husband has left her and her four girls, and my heart broke all over again. This is not okay. A family of 5 cannot live on the meager wages she is making each month. I must work to find or create a job for her but the challenge of teaching money management looms over my head reminding me that a job is useless if the money is not managed properly. There is so much work to be done here, but one by one it will be accomplished.

Lessons Learned

• My phone briefly quit working for about 12 hours, shocking me with the realization of how much I depend on my cell phone for everyday life. I could not set an alarm, I could not pull up my workouts and interval timer—let alone the music I so desperately need to drown out my heavy breathing! I could not stay in touch with loved ones back in the US or research the many questions that arise at random. I am so thankful for working technology!!
• Karl Barth says, “When we are at our wits end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own?” Ouch. That speaks to the depths of my soul and to many things that I have been struggling with in Haiti these past few months.
• The essential nature of foresight in leadership—being able to see far ahead and playing the game to achieve what you want.
• Finished “Shelley in Haiti” detailing Shelley Jean’s journey to starting Papillion and the many lessons she has learned about job creation in Haiti along the way. An encouraging and hope-inducing memoir.
• Every time I get in the front of a tap tap or am accessible to converse with a younger man I get asked how many children I have. The English translation of my answers goes something like this, “I don’t have children—I’m not married—no I don’t plan on getting married soon—I live here and plan on staying for a while so marriage is nowhere in my near future.” This makes me question if the worth of a woman in Haiti is tied to her marital status and/or number of children.

Business Leader Training

• Spent the beginning of the month talking with fellow DV staff about their ideas, suggestions, and recommendations for business leader training in DV partnering zones
• Gaining the support and partnership of a fellow staff member who holds a Haitian accounting degree, has previously taught business lessons, and has a similar vision for job creation in Haiti
• Writing out meeting notes far in advance to get translated and copied in time—so good for me to break my college habits of procrastination!
• Met with the leaders of each village to ask them to think about two to three business leaders or aspiring business people in their communities to meet with me the following week
• The people I met in meetings the next week blew. me. away. Some I have worked with quite a bit and others I have never seen before.
• Each meeting continues to bring up more information about the history of microfinance in one of our villages. I’ve been asking similar questions for months, and in one particular meeting, I learned that several people in the community had gone bankrupt due to high interest rates on the loans they received paired with no knowledge on how to manage their money. Good to know and to proceed forward with caution.

Zi Zi Ze Poulaye—Sassy Eggs Chicken Coop

• Updating records, creating financial documents for end of the year.
• Informed that I cannot purchase more ready-to-lay chickens until June! Mezanmi! But upon a visit in person to purchase chicken food they said they might be able to sell me some at the end of February. Thank goodness, as the eggs are in high demand and we want to capitalize on this opportunity to earn more revenue!

Fun Times

• Many hours spent on the trampoline at a local beach—so much fun channeling my younger self and flipping off like crazy. Unfortunately, my body is not quite in Division I shape anymore and I tweaked my back a little bit, but it was worth every uncomfortable twist and turn for a few days after. I saw how much good it did for my mind and soul to chill for a few hours and have some non-work related fun.
• The first trip into Port au Prince (PAP) with only other twenty two year olds to run some errands and stock up on inventory for our souvenir store. It was so fun to adventure through PAP, get a little turned around along the way, and find our way on our own.
• Planning a semi work, semi fun trip to the Dominican Republic during February. There is a social enterprise that focuses on economic development and job creation that I will get to meet with if all works out! I am beyond interested in everything that they are doing and look forward to learning from them! It has also been fun to do a little research on the towns we will be visiting and to read some history on the DR.
• Rocket stove adventures…a DV teacher preparing to teach more efficient fuel usage in the classroom so we build and tested out a rocket stove to teach the kiddos how you can conserve fuel and create a safer flame with four concrete blocks. It doubled as a lesson on how fire works as well. Fun was had by all!
• This past Saturday we went to the open house of a new coffee roasting facility in the Port au Prince area! We got a tour of the facility and explanation of farm to roasting to selling from the CEO of the social enterprise. It was a splendid day trip and now I am even more intrigued by coffee in Haiti and what it can do for the people here.
• Trying to stream the Grammy’s- a fun time as I had never watched them before.

Other Happenings

• Learning of a man who was adopted from TFB wanting to help entrepreneurs in his home town. Erie to see another person/group other than DV working there. It’s also interesting that I have been present and asking questions in TFB for many months now and this is the first time I have heard of him. I wonder if it stems from a fear that we will not partner with that community if we know someone else has already been there. It makes working and getting the truth difficult—but who can blame them?
• Came across the remains of a whale shark on the beach one Sunday afternoon. The vertebrae from the deceased creature were massive…I’m so thankful it was dead when we came across it!!
• I tagged along to visit a formal bank in Haiti for the first time since moving here. The sitting area was comfortable and the air conditioning provided a nice break from the humid air. I enjoyed the opportunity to observe a more formal and institutional side of Haiti while chatting with some DV staff about my ideas for business leader training.
• Wrote and sent out an extensive intern orientation packet for our summer interns—exciting to get the ball rolling on preparing them to serve this summer.

Thank you all for your continued support. I am not where I am or who I am (and am becoming) without the influence of each one of you. My heart swells with love for you all, and may Bondye beni ou.

A few nights ago, while searching for shooting stars in the clear Haitian sky, I was talking with a friend about sharing our stories and how different they would be if told on the same day each year. For example, me sharing what’s going on in my life with you today looks drastically different than if we were to have chatted together on January 1^st of 2017, 2016, 2015, etc. This statement got me thinking about just how much change each year brings, especially all that came on the dates ending with the year 2017. So many truly bittersweet ‘lasts’ followed by major life changes and an abundance of foreign ‘firsts’.

A first I was pretty happy about...fresh lobster on the beach in Grand Goâve!

While the new year is a time of reflection of the year(s) past and dreaming for the year(s) to come for all, in Haiti there is an entirely new layer of anticipation and excitement around January 1^st. It is the day the former (and future, if you ask me) Pearl of the Caribbean gained her independence from France in 1804, the beginning of the good and the bad that would become of the first and only successful slave revolution in the world to date. It is a day of celebration and traditional soup joumou (pumpkin/squash soup)! For us all, it is a day of remembering and honoring what was and looking forward towards what is to come.

Another photo of food at the beach in Grand Goâve, but this time I’m eating my favorite food (avocado) and reminiscing all the times I’ve been gifted avocados in 2017

In honor of the roller coaster that was 2017, here is a listen into the soundtrack that played along the beginning of my post-grad ride (as Spotify so kindly reminded me):

Both in my senior year and in Haiti, I’ve taken quite a few “L’s” in 2017. And as Big Sean so kindly reminds us, “if you a real one, then you know how to bounce back…  (Bounce Back).” Here’s to praying that I’m a ‘real one’ in 2018 and that I can learn to ‘bounce back’ faster and stronger from the  inevitable “L’s” in the new year. This past year I also learned that “I got loyalty got royalty inside my DNA (Kendrick Lamar, DNA.).” Enjoying old and new relationships, playing my senior season of softball with a team and coach I would go to war for, living in Haiti, and working with Disciples’ Village has taken my sense of loyalty to those I love, work for and with to a whole new level. In the words of Johnnyswim, “love at any cost is a bargain, it’s quite the bargain (Summertime Romance).” Learning to better love and be loved in the past year has shown me what a true and priceless gift relationships and fellowship truly are, especially that found in family (my mother refers to herself as ‘Queen Mum’, hence the royalty inside my DNA) both in the United States and now in Haiti.

In 2017, especially in transitioning from my known arenas of athletics and academia and beginning my economic development and microfinance work in Haiti, I have become well acquainted with the many unknowns that come with new life stages and working in developing countries. As Switchfoot quite accurately says, “My lungs and I were born to fight, sometimes I’m not sure what I’m fighting for, but death ain’t the only end in sight, cause this ain’t a battle it’s a lifelong war (Hope is an Anthem).” But as the song continues, “My heartbeat, my oxygen, my banner, my home, my freedom, my song, Your hope is the anthem of my soul.” Through the unknowns and uncertainty in traversing new waters and new fields (both academic disciplines and the kind you grow crops in), I have found my anthem and source of hope. I have learned that “maybe I don’t know, but maybe that’s okay” if my next step is to seek the answers and act upon them (Jon Bellion, Maybe IDK), because “…I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith, I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn’t need grace, I guess if I knew his plans, I guess He wouldn’t be God.” For, “without wonder, how could life ever be wonderful (Switchfoot, Begin Forever).”

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters...” (Hillsong UNITED)

Grace is the anthem of my days in Haiti, prompting me to respond with, “I wanna sing with all my heart a lifelong song, even if some notes come out right and some come out wrong (Switchfoot, Live it Well).” And trust me, especially in learning Haitian Creole, I’ve had some notes come out right with many more coming out wrong. But “I got one life and one love, I got one voice, but maybe that’s enough, cause with one heartbeat and two hands to give, I got one shot and one life to live.” Grace allows me to keep pushing, keep dreaming, keep finding ways that don’t work, and keep working towards what could be. Love and grace provide what is needed to keep giving, keep speaking, and “Keep On Keeping On (Colony House).”

Looking forward to what is ahead for me in Haiti with microfinance and economic development, “As I walk this great unknown, questions come and questions go. Was there purpose for the pain? Did I cry these tears in vain? I don’t want to live in fear, I want to trust that You are near, trust your grace can be seen, in both triumph and tragedy.” And, “I have this hope, in the depth of my soul, in the flood or the fire, You’re with me and You won’t let go (Tenth Avenue North, I Have This Hope).” And as Aha Gazelle so confidently says, “Ima problem and they know it, you can’t stop me from where I’m going… (All Gold Party).” Are you “Ready for It?” (T. Swift).

Here’s to many more adventures in 2018 with stunning views similar to this one

December brought with it many joys and much hope for what is to become of my continued time in Haiti. I’m learning to create and operate my own systems from which to work and one day succeed from. My heart overflows with love and gratitude for the country and people I get to work with and for each day. Dreams and vision for the future of Haiti fill my heart and mind and help shape my steps for today. Here are some of the happenings of December:

Highlights

• First trip out of the area without a man! Another female working with DV and I drove by ourselves to TFB to pay our lovely employee and deliver the dust pan to the coop. We were met with a hole in the feed box dug by a rodent and a beautiful record of the eggs produced by the layers—a record I thought was lost. Mesi Jezi for the small victories!
• NEW ROAD TO VIELO!! While I previously thought I enjoyed the hike up the mountain to Vielo, I sure enjoyed now getting to ride in a car for the first half of the trek. It was beautiful to see new grounds in Haiti, farming land with larger trees and dense crops. This is also a major win for moving forward with infrastructure development in Haiti.
• Most brilliant shooting star I’ve ever seen during the early morning of a meteor shower while making coffee
• Museum in Montrious- on beautiful grounds of a former plantation turned into a resort. “Not in Haiti anymore…” The tour guide gave a brief overview of everything from the voyage from Africa to be sold as slaves, the native Taíno people of Hispaniola, the living conditions and lack of accommodations on the plantation, development of Haitian creole, Haiti gaining her independence from France (in 1804 on this very day), Haiti aiding Venezuela and Bolivia in gaining their independence (I had not heard this before), Voodoo’s history in the nation, and a variety of other things that I had and had not heard or read before. I would like to go back when I have more time with a smaller group to ask more questions and read through more of the displays.
• Trip to Grand Goâve on the other side of the island to visit a team from Belmont Athletics- my joy overflowed! It was unbelievably refreshing to spend time with people so near to my heart and still get to serve the people and country I dearly love with much less responsibility. My time across the island brought much clarity, joy, and strength as well as a new friendship with the woman who runs the organization we stayed with. Time with Ms. Jenny brought much encouragement and insight from someone a little further down the path than I. She shared how she worked through some of the difficulties I am experiencing, giving me the push I needed to keep moving forward. She too is starting to implement business training in her organizations worked, and we discussed some of the materials we have come across and what has and has not worked so far. Grand Goâve’s beauty is also beyond comparison. The mountains were greener, the cities more developed, the speech slower, the air cooler, and the sunsets more vibrant. It was a beautiful time and place filled with awe inspiring people and memories that I will cherish for many years to come. Time at the beach on Sunday also brought new views, new foods, and new items being sold by vendors.

Vendors at the beach...micro enterprise in action!

Times of Growth and Thought-inducing Lessons

• Christmas marketplace at Pizza Amour with many vendors/social enterprises, both for and non profit, who offered a wide variety of products from soaps to coffee to Haitian leather goods to bags made out of water bags—8 ounce bags that clean drinking water comes in. All interesting- creating value now but how sustainable is it? Eventually people (read Americans) will no longer need bags and jewelry that are piling up in their closets. Need a product that is needed on a reoccurring basis.
• After an early morning run to the beach to watch the sunrise, I followed a little guy who often hangs around our campus as he walked quite far to retrieve water before getting ready for school. I’ve heard hundreds of stories about kiddos and mamas walking miles upon miles a day to get water for cooking, drinking, cleaning, etc., but something about following in a few of the footsteps of a sweet little guy near to my heart brought the weight of the reality of the situation he and thousands of others face each day. What hurts the most is knowing that it doesn’t have to be this way.
• I’m slowly learning that I have forgotten how to feel—challenged to find two words a day, one in the morning and one in the evening, to describe my feelings at that time. My records of the December days are filled with sentences reporting that I had yet to be able to label my feelings.
• Finally able to label feelings of loneliness in the midst of a crazy busy week surrounded by plenty of people. So strange. I guess it’s more of a lack of being truly known rather than lonely because of a lack of solid interaction.

The sunrise on the morning I followed my sweet little friend as he carried water home before school

Continued Chicken Coop Activities

• Received the coop/egg records I had been asking for after several miscommunications- cross referencing the eggs laid per day and eggs sold to find them almost identical. And man, the feed from our supplier must be DANG GOOD. Almost an egg a day per chicken—2 more eggs per chicken per week than expected!
• Several improvements to the coop in preparation for the addition of more layers- lips on the nests so the eggs don’t fall out, filling the roosts with greenery to make them soft and a desirable spot to lay eggs, filling in the feed box with concrete to ward of a pesky rodent, spending hours training the chickens to lay their eggs in the nesting boxes- it was hilarious to observe the lead layer freak out when I moved the eggs from her hole in the ground and into the boxes. She walked from box to box, stopping and squawking at each one, until finally hoping up into one to lay an egg. Mission (temporarily) accomplished.
• Time spent crunching numbers for the coop expenses and revenues, trying to find out what needs to be changed to make it sustainable, self sufficient, and replicable for our other villages
• Teacher/egg seller in TFB approached me saying (in Creole) we needed to get more chickens in the coop so she could buy more eggs from us—yes ma’am!
• Adventure to find the Haiti Broilers chicken farm in Thomazeau, Haiti to purchase more layers, housing likely millions of chickens far, far away from any other civilization. Such a high intensity experience, trying to find the location, communicate our purpose for being there, retrieve the chickens and correct paperwork on a crowded pay day, and finishing the day by joyfully releasing the layers into their new home and collecting 5 eggs along the way.
• Chicken coop became a warzone between the old and new- super insightful to observe.

Relocating the eggs was a traumatic event for all

Views from the chicken farm

50,000 chickens per coop! Mezanmi!

Preparing for Future Projects

• Attempted meeting with village leaders to discuss business leader training possibility in 2018—rough because translator got called away right before the meeting and two of four leaders ended up not being present for various reasons.
• Discussions of numbers of business leaders in DV villages, maybe if I ask the same questions enough times I’ll get accurate answers.
• Reading the GrowBook about essentials for developing business in the developing world
• Visit with another expat in Haiti discussing her vision for utilizing and exporting the beauty resources of Haiti

Inquiring minds want to know...a layer checking out Jerry’s work as he helps me make improvements to the coop

In 2018 I’m deciding to be bold and unrelenting in the pursuit of what sets my soul on fire. I’m resolving to take care of myself, but by the grace of God not live for myself (Mike Donehey). I desire to simplify my life (it’s absolutely incredible how much junk I have drug with me to Haiti and collected along the way), and to spend time cultivating things that will advance my work in Haiti both now and in the future, and my life and the lives of those around me. May my story on January 1^st of 2019 tell of these things, si Dye vle.

Bon ane! Happy New Year!

Looking back on 2017 like I’m looking out the back of the tap tap

As the sun sets on 2017, I’m in awe of the beauty of the year and expectant for the sunrise of 2018

Yesterday I had the joy of a gorgeous boat ride on the Caribbean with Disciples’ Village staff a little before the sun set over the island of La Gonave for the evening. It’s amazing how much larger and magnificent the mountains of Haiti look from a few miles out on the ocean. While we can see the mountains from our campus and drive around at the base of them daily, this new perspective brings a larger picture of just how majestic they are—adding a new dimension of beauty to the place I get to call home.

The sun setting over La Gonave a few weeks ago...I was too caught up and covered in salt water to pull out my phone the other night but this is a close second!

The first time my feet touched this mountainous ground of Haiti was five years ago to this day. And just like a boat ride brought the size of the mountains into perspective, five years of questions, research, experiences, and the wisdom of those who have gone before has given me a drastically larger view not only of Haiti but of poverty, differing cultures, communication, economies, relationships, etc., my place in this world, and the interconnectedness of it all. While time has slowly revealed a greater understanding of these things and has brought a higher level of learning, leading, living, and thinking, I also recognize that if I’ve had my eyes and mind opened this much in five years, I cannot fathom how different my perspective will be in the decades to come.

A young Shersty trying to learn Creole five years ago. Little did I know that some of these kiddos would become my co-workers one day!

The deeper into the waters I go the more of the island I see, but I know that if I keep moving away from the island it will eventually become a small spec in the distance. I wonder if life is like that. Each day you see more, learn more, experience more, and one day you realize just how small everything is in the grand scheme of it all. It’s an intriguing thought.

A particularly clear morning provided a gorgeous opportunity to capture the ocean and south side of the island on the way to a meeting

Anyways… here is a compilation of five lessons I’ve learned during a five year fixation on Haiti as told by Haitian proverbs and sayings.

1. Figi ou se paspo ou…Your smile is your passport. This was the first proverb I came across when preparing for my first trip to Haiti, meaning a kind smile paired with an attempt to communicate in Creole will get you many places that you need to go. While Haitian and American cultures, communication contexts, economic statuses and a plethora of other things differ, we share the meaning of a smile and it goes to show how body language and actions often speak far louder than words. I also like to say that love knows no language…whether my Creole is working that day or not, I can love people regardless of what language they speak, their geographical origin, ethnic background, and many other things that often divide people are simply different from each other.
2. Dye mon, gen mon… Beyond mountains, there are mountains. This little phrase packs quite a punch. Not only is this the meaning of the name Haiti (or so I’ve been told), the title of an insightful book by Tracy Kidder and Paul Farmer about their experiences working in Haiti, and an accurate description of the geography of Haiti—it is a kind reminder that after you face and conquer one problem or mountain, there is often another one waiting for you to traverse not too far in the distance. It would be hard for me to find a more accurate depiction of much of my time in Haiti thus far, one problem rolling right after the other. Yet while there are many literal and figurative mountains to climb here, the beauty that surrounds us and the richness found in the hike—though tiring at times—far surpass the momentary struggles and sticking points.

Some mountains take your breath away more than others. These in particular always stop me in my tracks, or rather make me tell the driver stop  so I can take a picture

3. Piti, piti, zwazo fe nich li…Little by little the bird finishes its nest. I first heard this proverb in the context of learning to speak and understand Haitian Creole, and mezanmi (my goodness), this could not be more true! While we do not always know or see what the bird is doing while collecting and carrying twigs, threads, dirt, etc. off to an unknown location, piece by piece the bird crafts a safe haven for its babies and a foundation for a solid life. Little by little, piece by piece, a word here or there each day…and before you know it you are on your way to communicating in Kreyol—it just might take five years before you can put much of anything together! I’m finding this is also true of working in Haiti and of life in general. Each day I need to keep picking up twigs of information, threads of truth, the occasional ugly dirt of reality mixed in with the love of the process and maybe one day something beautiful and unexpected will be created from which to work from.

A picture of the woman who told me (through a translator) five years ago to not come back to Haiti until I had started to learn Creole. Yes ma’am!

4. Naje pou soti…Swim to get out. This is a friend’s description of the Haitian economy. The funny thing is that I have observed and been told that many Haitians have never learned to swim. Maybe if someone taught them to swim, or taught business/job/finance skills, and provided the initial resources to float in the sea, Haiti would be a different place in a few decades. It’s exciting to hear of ‘swimming lessons’ taking place all around and to get to play a small part in the big sea. Now the challenge is to teach people to swim, and then convince those who know to stay and teach the person behind them that they all might rise up together to create the infrastructure and systems necessary to float and not have to fight for survival in a rough ocean all of the time.

5. Blanc! Blanc! Blanc! This term for foreigners in Haiti is loaded with meaning and weighted down with the history of the western side of the island of Hispaniola and the people who have officially and unofficially controlled it. While not a proverb in the definition of the word, understanding the implications of being a ‘blanc’ has been a game changer in my time working, living, and loving in Haiti. The most common uses of this title of sorts include it coming from the mouths of sweet, innocent children trying to get my attention as I walk by and from not-so-naive adults who have observed the past and sometimes current reality of many foreigners giving hand outs. They are angry because I am not interacting with them in a way they perceive I should, i.e. I’m not giving them the money they think I have in abundance at my house that I’m not forking over.

I have been greeted with statements from both children and adults alike such as, “Blanc, ou visye!” “Blanc, ou shish!” Meaning White/foreigner, you are greedy/wicked! White/foreigner, you are cheap! These statements and accusations are so much deeper than the words being shrieked as I casually walk by. They stem from Haiti’s detrimental history of foreigners coming in and throwing money and supplies at people, destroying the local economies and putting many farmers and people in ‘ti commerce’ or small market stands out of business, because why would someone with little money want to spend it on food, clothes, and other needs when they are being given away for free or even dropped from the sky?

Decades of corruption of international aid organizations and the Haitian government have led to this point, leading to people perceiving me as greedy, stingy, cheap, or even wicked as I walk by simply because I am not giving them what they think I should. But who can blame them? All they know or want to remember of foreigners is the temporary handouts and money being thrown at projects that rarely follow through or live up to expectations.

While this is the reality that many who work and live in Haiti, I can either choose to let the locals’ perception of my purpose for working here derail my progress or I can take it into consideration and learn to move past it to accomplish what I came to Haiti to do. In the eyes of a few we foreigners might be greedy and cheap, but in the eyes of many we have come to shine light in the darkness together.

(Side note- not all or even a majority of the people I interact with on a regular basis think or act this way. Many understand that the United States does not in fact have money trees and value what we can bring to the table other than cash. These scenarios and themes just seem to be the common threads that keep me from easily accomplishing what I want to do in our communities.)

Sometimes I feel as effective as this goat trying to cross the road with a cheetos bag over his head

Through these proverbs and sayings I’m beginning to see that it is all about perspective. I can see my inability to communicate at times or choose to do what I know how and smile at everyone I pass. I can see the inevitable mountains ahead as discouraging or attack them ‘with enthusiasm unknown to mankind’ (Brian Cain via Belmont softball’s Coach Brian Levin), grow stronger from the challenge, and enjoy the beauty along the way. And on and on the proverbs impart their wisdom.

A futbol game at sunset beside the ocean. It’s too bad softball was more of my thing than soccer. I was more of one for the hand-eye coordination games than the foot-eye coordination.

To change up the conversation (however one-sided—although I would love to make it more two-sided if you are to comment with your thoughts) towards an update and in a more succinct fashion, November has been a month of coming to the end of myself, my plans, and my ideas. I’m realizing that I need to dial it back several notches and train up the business leaders in our communities with the hope that I come across a few who are investing in the people around them financially or even in more of a mentorship format. It is evident that being on the front lines of microfinance as a foreign woman in Haiti simply will not work in an honorable and sustainable way. My next step is finding local people of high integrity to ‘fight’ the battles in front with me supporting with all I have unseen in the back. It will take some doing and many long hours of grueling work digging out the trenches, but I’m willing to put in whatever it takes to create healthy and sustainable change in the economic climate of Disciples’ Villages’ partnering communities and maybe one day all over Haiti.

Other things that happened in November include the continuation of the chicken coop adventure, working on the small business our Alex’s House kiddos work with (drink sales and a souvenir store), and a variety of exciting and crazy times that spontaneously occur in the madness of this glorious life in Haiti. Our chicken coop employee is doing a marvelous job taking care of the chickens, selling eggs, and having someone help keep record of egg sales/revenue. Just yesterday she told me we need to buy more layer chickens because the demand for eggs in Trouforban is too high to keep up with our current amount. What a great problem to have, and I look forward to getting more chickens in the coop soon! I also spent more time talking with leaders in our communities about economic development and job creation possibilities. Possibly one ‘highlight’ of the month was a day spent in Port au Prince driving around and sitting at the car insurance place watching other people run around like chickens with their heads cut off (not my chickens) trying to transfer papers and purchase insurance, ending the day heading back home in a car purchased by a couple also working with Disciples’ Village. It was a taste of freedom through another car and driver and a glimpse into the chaos of dealing with government agencies.

Egg sales records make me a happy coop manager of sorts!

The only documentation I have of our adventure in Port trying to transfer car papers and purchase insurance

Life is grand, and the simple joys and small victories make passing through the mountains 100% worth it. Similarly to “ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough…”, there ‘ain’t no’ problem complex enough to keep me from choosing a positive perspective...sometimes I just need to find a different location to view it from. As always, God’s grace sustains me and the love of Christ compels me forward. With joy I run into December ready to keep climbing the mountains beyond mountains of Haiti.

The simple joys of driving up on two baby goats frolicking amongst the cement!

The more I learn the less I know.

The reality of this phrase is becoming more evident with each passing day, leaving no realm of life untouched. With language, culture, faith, economics/finance, business, relationships, life, emotions, health, myself, and on and on, it is beautifully frustrating to get a glimpse of all the knowledge, wisdom, and information roaming around in the world but knowing that it is unlikely I’ll ever obtain even a small fraction of it all. I’m learning a higher level of learning and thinking, of living and loving and leading, and it is revealing in abundance how little I actually know about myself, my faith, my host country and it’s culture and language, of leadership, microfinance/economic development, and life in general. And it’s awesome.

It appears the more Haitian Creole I learn, the more aware I become in real life conversation just how far I have to go to become fluent and to truly understand what is being said beyond picking up singular words. Learning a higher level of a foreign language is tough but oh so rewarding to get around a tad more on my own. I have even come across my new favorite Kreyol expression equivalent to “I’m chilling like a coffee cover” while learning the slang of everyday conversation.  Absolutely incredible. Why don’t we say things like this in English?

In knowledge and understanding of business/financial management in a third world country, just when I think I’ve communicated something clearly, I often find that my words were likely taken out of context and heard as they wanted to be heard. While not a completely foreign concept, talking and asking about savings and loans in a deeply impoverished nation proves to be tricky. I’m learning to think on a higher level to recognize how my words might be taken before I say them and to make the appropriate adjustments.

The more I inquire about and observe Haitian culture, communication, and interaction in a collectivist context, the further I realize I must go in learning to communicate effectively and efficiently in a style far different from my own. This higher level of communicating extends into my culture of origin too, as I learn to recognize and respect where people come from and how that effects every aspect of life.

The larger the amount of leaders I observe becomes and the more leaderships scenarios I find myself in, the more I cringe at how I have led people in the past but I’m ever more grateful for the incredible number of examples of great leadership I grew up with and am surrounded by now. Leading at a higher level is grueling work, and forever I will be thankful for the many who have gone before me and taken the time to smooth the way that we might achieve more than they ever dreamed possible.

The deeper my friendships become with those I’m doing life with and the many people I’m meeting on a regular basis, the more I see my shortcomings in relationships, communication, and thoughtfulness and I appreciate unconditional love and grace all the more because it. is. hard. to put others before myself and to be aware of their needs when I’m still figuring out my own.

The more aware I become of my intentions, thoughts, and actions and the Holy Spirit reveals piece by piece my many shortcomings, the more I learn of my utter dependence on the sovereign Grace of God and the less I understand how a righteous God could ever use a sinner like me. Mèsi Jezi pou gras ou.

However, in the midst of frustrations stemming from my many shortcomings both internal and external due to taking steps towards living on a higher level, there have been so many glorious moments in October shining a light on what I have learned. With each passing day, I am continually more in awe of the lessons and experiences being had here in Haiti. The learning curve is steep when immersed in a foreign culture, country, language, academic disciplines, and a new stage of post grad life, but I would not want to spend these precious days any other way. I’m being stretched beyond what I could have previously imagined and experiencing feelings I have never felt or recognized before. My cup is being drained faster than ever but now simultaneously being filled at a rate impossible by human standards. Coming to the end of my knowledge and understanding of the world around and within me is a beautiful (yet painful) thing, and I am eager to continue plowing through new territories while striving for higher levels.

The stunning few after an early morning run!

Here are some abbreviated versions of October’s many lessons, difficulties, adventures, new norms, simple joys and small victories, and progress in microfinance/economic development/job creation in Haiti:

Lessons Learned

• God did not give me the gift of skillful hands—I have struggled to create a wooden frame for a painting, build box for chicken food, mini chicken coop for sick chickens and am oh so thankful for the MANY people who have helped me and taught me things like how to use a skill saw and drill along the way
• Striving to obtain peace with craziness of post grad life in general, let alone trying to figure it out in a third world country. Grace upon grace upon grace from God and for myself as His plan is revealed
• 1 Peter 4:10 NASB “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” I need to be a steward of God’s grace—something I have not been doing in exhaustion.
• Regretfully I found the end of my own strength and mistakenly I didn’t cry out to Jesus for help nearly as quickly as I should have. It was ugly, and I pray it will turn out differently next time.
• The abundance of scattered and semi burnt trash in Vielo that I didn’t notice until today is kind of like my sin. It is ugly, unclean, impure, not supposed to be there, bad for the environment and our health, and I often get used to seeing it all over Haiti and not cleaning it up until one day it stops me in my tracks after building up for so long.
• The joy of the Lord must be my strength (Nehemiah 8:10) Joy is a fruit of the Spirit that must be cultivated in the good and the bad.
• Communication on my end must improve with people back in the United States—family and friends that pour into me and keep me going here in Haiti. The times I felt drained this past month is when I had isolated myself from those who know me best.
• Grace upon grace upon grace, given by God alone, is my sustainer and source of hope

Difficulties Encountered

• Continuation of ‘manifestations’, demonstrations, protests, and strikes at the beginning of October, making it difficult to get out and about around Haiti
• Letting my spirit run on empty—not good for me or the people I was doing business with
• Miscommunications and continually being reminded of gaps in my knowledge of Haitian culture and how to properly be assertive while being culturally sensitive
• “My mom doesn’t have a house either”… there will always be a need. I struggle to keep a laser focus on the tasks I have been called to do.
• Some days I don’t know if I can say ‘no’ one more time to the endless requests for money, food, and water from kiddos—sometimes it makes me wish I didn’t know the Creole to understand what they are saying. No matter how hard I try to explain that a dollar won’t help or that I don’t have enough crackers or water for all of the kiddos who will come out of the woodwork if I begin passing them out, I understand that their circumstances and meager upbringings make it difficult to look beyond the immediate and see the bigger picture.
• More grossly swollen mosquito bites on my arm, wrist, and face…for some reason nothing breaks my spirit faster than a deformity on my face.
• Letting my spirit be depleted and suffering from a physical manifestation of what was happening within.
• Note to self–parasites might be hiding in the yummy street food. But who knows that you acquired it there unless you try it again??

“Lalo” aka potential home for parasite that may or may not be residing in my stomach

Zizi Ze (Sassy Eggs- my temporary name for DV’s chicken coop)

• Disciples’ Village first economic development project came to fruition halfway through October!
• I thoroughly enjoyed the process of researching the current egg market in Trouforban, forecasting revenue and expenses, pricing to keep other sellers in the market, measuring land, pricing and purchasing supplies for coop, etc.
• Language of coop—it is DV’s coop and we are hiring an employee to ensure they don’t say “It’s my coop and I can give the eggs away, sell/kill the chickens…” with the possibility of having her purchase it in increments in the future , etc.
• Working with fixed salary while training and will shift into percentage of egg sales once we get more layers. Other revenues will go towards savings for employee(s), reserves for future chicken purchases, food, repairs, etc.
• Interviewing and briefly training employee for coop—I learned to stop assuming that everyone can read and write, searched for the proper questions to ask to learn the information you desire and to make it clear who is the best option to hire
• Endless frustration trying to find layers to be purchased by Friday, communicating in another language, difficulties picking up b/c manifestation
• Joy of meeting chickens and seeing them lay their first eggs!! Mesi Jezi!
• Excitement from first egg sales!
• Interesting process of writing up contract in simple but sufficient terms, translating and proofing Creole, etc., walking through pricing and sales, learning of first sales!
• Realizing things needed for the coop—a box for eggs and food, isolation coop, etc.—and trying to build them with the help of SO MANY PEOPLE. It has and will continue ‘to take a village’ to get this coop up and running and to keep it going. I’m so thankful for the many people who have helped construct boxes, patiently teach me to use a saw and drill and how to best stabilize things, and transport things back and forth from the coop. 

The completed coop!

In progress and providing jobs along the way

New Norms- Becoming Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

• Uncertainty is uncomfortable—it doesn’t matter what I want but what God wills—this is becoming the mantra of my work and life
• “Who’s in more danger…the persecuted or the comfortable?” KB’s “Crowns & Thorns (Oceans) Ouch. Where am I letting my desired comforts get in the way of seeing the needs of those around me?
• 4:45 am wake up, 5:30 breakfast, 6:00 departure for church or meetings at Vielo is by no means abnormal anymore, and I love life that way.
• Walking through a very active market and then on up the mountain via aqueducts and dirt paths is totally normal to visit one of our partnering communities. There is such beauty to behold past ‘normal’
• Aimlessly roaming around the side of a mountain looking for a boss farmer lady that stood out during the census, not having a clue where I was going but equipped with the determination to find her. And upon finding this sweet soul, sitting down with her on her front porch without a translator and trying to communicate back and forth about her current farming methods, equipment, seeds, irrigation, etc. and how they can be improved upon…a previously extremely uncomfortable situation but now a semi-regular occurrence.
• While a traumatic event for some, standing on the side of a very busy road after our truck broke down one morning is something that I didn’t even think twice about or remember by mid afternoon—as it is not the first time I have stood/walked on the side of that road nor do I think it will be the last.
• Never did I think that I would be managing a chicken coop or researching chickens. The good Lord has a sense of humor.

Simple Joys and Small Victories

• During the wedding of two friends this summer I decided that it would be neat for my future wedding ceremony to be spoken in both English and Haitian Creole—and even better yet that I desire to have two ceremonies, one in the United States and one in Haiti, so all of the people I so dearly love can be in attendance. It is with great joy that I report that I have found the church that I will have my Haitian wedding ceremony in one day. It features crisp, yellow concrete walls, plenty of room for the many people who have become family here, a short walk from Alex’s House/Disciples’ Village, electricity and operating fans… what more could one want??
• Observance of a ‘legal’, peaceful protest with police walking along the street with the protesters; street signs and road improvements; fixing a river/path destroyed by hurricane Matthew a year ago—progress is progress!
• The pleasure of being in the presence of great leaders and having them ask challenging questions
• A visit to a bakery centered around job creation to meet a fellow expat doing the economic development/job creation thing in Haiti and learning about the “GrowBook: 25 Essential Drivers of Small Business Success in the Developing World” that can be found in both English and Haitian Creole!! I look forward to reading in my spare time
• Small victory: two trips and many outgoing, incoming, and missed phone calls later, we were able to retrieve the small amount of money overcharged for the layers and supplies
• Meeting with leaders in partnering village to start discussing various methods of economic development/job creation
  • Brought ‘ti manje’ of bread from bakery, moringa bread I had made, and eggs from the coop to showcase various job creation possibilities
  • Markets for sewing, a bakery, broiler chicken coop, water purification, etc.
• Joy of sleeping in long sleeved shirt for over a week! Mesi Jezi for showers, electricity throughout the night, fans, cooler weather, and a homey room! The sponsor of the house I stay in came in October to finish our rooms. While I am oh so thankful for a space to myself with a bed and fans no matter what it looks like, she painted the walls a beautiful light shade of yellow, made a daybed, hung some paintings and curtains, placed some rugs on the floor and made an oasis away from the unpredictability and madness of life in Haiti. Sound sleep has made me realize the importance of creating space to breath and retreat to, and for that I am ever thankful for the kind soul who is turning our house into a home.
• Disciples’ Village’s PR director came in October and brought the GrowBook and chocolate—I almost teared up out of thankfulness. Mesi Jezi
• Started running again—I didn’t realize how much I needed that time to myself to zone out (while still being aware of surroundings), jam to hype music, and enjoy the beauty around me
• A MAN IN VIELO GAVE ME A GIFT OF 7 AVOCADOS!! MY CUP OVERFLOWS!!
• Seeing the good record kept of eggs sold after being uncertain that our coop employee and I were on the same page. It wasn’t exact but we can work with it!
• Not being able to purchase eggs from our own coop due to demand from the community and so few chickens currently.

The coop has a captive audience on most days–the kiddos are super interested in the chickens!

Our first eggs! Mèsi Jezi!

October has been a dream filled with quite the spectrum of high and low points, and I enter into November more equipped than before and ready to take on the next higher level I am to achieve.

This month’s blog title is inspired by several ideas:

I. In honor of Lecrae’s recent release of his newest album “All Things Work Together,” we’re throwing it back to his first studio album “Real Talk.” I have a habit of binge listening to a single album for months on end, and Lecrae’s newest game changer has been the most recent soundtrack of my days. In accordance with Romans 8:26-28, I’m holding on to the promise that,

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (NASB).

Real talk—many days in September left me pleading for the Spirit to intercede for me because I simply did not know what to pray. But the days that brought the most internal turmoil also brought the promise that “The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your Faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23, NASB).” Thank you, Coach Levin, for sharing your favorite verses that have become an anthem of my days, reiterated in a Kreyol song lyric, “Mizerikòd ou pap fini, Konpasyon Bondye pap fini. Li renouvle chak maten, chak maten,” or “Your mercies will not end, God’s compassion will not end. It is renewed every morning, every morning.” Mèsi Jezi.

II. In many ways, it’s about to get real here in Haiti. A few small job creation/capital raising projects I’ve been working with here and there throughout September are about to come to fruition and become real in October. Also, with no fault but my own, the savings group idea didn’t go over too well in the first community I chose to present to—so I had to come to terms with my shortcomings, take it back to the drawing board, and get real with how to move forward from here. And several threats of hurricanes and protests/demonstrations/manifestations/transportation strikes due to Haiti’s president’s proposal of a new budget and increased taxes kept us in the compound with too much time to think, meaning that this post—as a compilation of many thoughts, experiences, emotions, and steep learning curves over the past month—is about to get real.

Real talk—it would be much more pleasant to only share with you the many joyful, fun, life-giving, lesson-filled times of September, but that would not truthfully reveal the whole story that is unfolding. In the past I’ve had a tendency to only express emotions and experiences of joy and excitement, pushing down the ugly feelings of confusion and unpleasant uncertainty. I’ve found myself falling into that same pattern again, but I’m learning that to live out my purpose in life is to face the unpleasant head on decked out head to toe with the armor of God. Throughout college I used my busyness to avoid thinking through thoughts, ideas, and encounters that bothered me. There was always some distraction in the form of a project to work on, reading to be done, practice/conditioning to be attended, coffee to be enjoyed with loved ones, or my nice, cool pillow was calling my name. And while the unceasing nature of living in a developing country trying to figure out this whole microfinance/economic development/job creation thing certainly could consume all of my post-grad thoughts and time, I’m learning that I have to take a breather from time to time and confront some emotions and thoughts I have pushed down for too long. For some reason, I also must rest a lot more now. No amount of coffee or homemade kombucha seems to keep my eyes from getting sleepy early in the evening and resisting waking up in the mornings. I guess the late nights and early mornings in college paired with little break from the Caribbean heat are finally catching up with me. Mezanmi!!

I had some great helpers measuring for a chicken coop that will create jobs in one of Disciples’ Village’s communities in October!

Now that the previews are over, let’s dig in to the nitty gritty of a few things I’ve either encountered, began thinking/fighting through, read, realized, been convicted of, prayed about or a combination of many of the aforementioned list. Below you will find glimpses into my head, project, and life in Haiti, loosely ‘organized’ under bold headings with either a few sentences or several rant-ish paragraphs below. Looking back I can see how some times seemed dark, but rest assured that September held many a joyous times–they just didn’t manifest into as great of learning opportunities as some of the more trying experiences :).

A Foreigner (Blanc) in this Land

“Blanc, blanc, blanc!! Blanc!!” resounds like an alarm clock as I walk down any road I’ve ever traveled in Haiti. It’s occasionally broken up with thick Creole-accented “How are you?”s and “What is your name?” or the gut wrenching “Give me one dolla” as the kiddos attempt to speak my language and get the attention of the foreigner passing by. My responses vary with each encounter. Sometimes I smile and wave, asking “Koman ou yè?” ignoring their remarks of my skin color and perceived economic class. Other times, it pains me to report, I simply ignore them and keep my eyes focused ahead, hiding behind the sunglasses I use to protect my blue eyes from the sun and to cover the pain I feel that my skin and country of origin is a false barrier between me and the people I so deeply love. More often than not, I attempt to sweetly say, “Bonswa! M’ rele Shersty. M’ kontan wè ou jodi a!” in hopes that next time they recognize that while I am indeed a blanc, a foreigner in Haiti, I’m here to stay for awhile.

Sometimes I sinfully react out of anger and think to myself, if only you knew that one dollar is not going to help you... Ouch. That’s ugly.

A few times this month I along with others with Disciples’ Village encountered an unfortunately semi-normal situation with a few young girls at the beach who were asking for sunglasses, headbands, watches, dresses, money, food, water, anything they thought we had and would give because they asked—all while dramatically pointing to their stomachs and throwing themselves down on the rocks when I would say no. This bothered me more than before—how do I lovingly show them I care about them and communicate that giving into their request for sunglasses or a dollar might make them feel good for a few minutes, but the hunger and thirst will quickly return. How do I response without furthering the divide my nationality causes? I hate to say that they followed behind us empty handed calling us cheap and stingy. My heart broke with every step at the anger/pride inside of me that I allowed to keep me from loving them, even if I didn’t have any water or food to give.

While I am still working through this encounter and the emotions I have felt while praying about better ways to handle similar situations, these frequent reminders that I am indeed a foreigner here is a reminder of the greater situation at hand—as a follower of Jesus, a person who declares Him as Lord of my life, this earth is not my home. I am a foreigner in this land, and I am seeking a kingdom that has no end. I am working to bring heaven to earth. The brokenness that surrounds me will not last. The pain and suffering experienced by the people I love and have come to serve is temporary in this life, and they are ultimately in the arms of the One who loved them to the point of offering His own blameless life as a sacrifice to wash our sin white as snow. I am constantly being reminded to keep my eyes on Christ and the things and pains of this earth will go strangely dim. Mèsi Jezi pou lavi ou te bay nou.

This sweet little lady let me learn to properly condition, comb, braid, and secure the hair on her precious head! I have a long way to go...but we all had fun watching me learn and struggle!

“Do the Self Work”

 I found this incredible advise from Kathy Brooks via the ‘About Us’ section on 2^nd Story Goods’ website. Each day brings something in myself that I need to surrender to the Lord before attempting to ‘give a hand up’ to the people around me.

A recent article in Relevant magazine posed a question similar to, “What if instead of trying to change people (or in my case, specifically change their financial situation), we started by looking at our own lives first?” Dying daily, purging my sins, seeking forgiveness… Ouch. So unpleasant.

It’s easy to push my shortcomings, sins, and hidden-but-quickly-surfacing selfish heart to the side when working in a developing country. But with doing (hopefully, prayerfully) ground breaking and life changing work comes pushback from the evil that benefits from people living with veils over their eyes, and that evil is bringing my sinful self’s wants, desires, selfish thoughts, and past emotional hurts to the forefront of my attention during inopportune times at a disturbing frequency. It is all too easy to be distracted by these bubbling emotions, but I’m learning to lay them at the foot of the Cross and to continue to walk in the work I have set out to do. I’m learning to do the self work in the forefront to remove distractions that could keep me from being effective in the future. It’s ugly, and it’s a process that I am far from mastering.

These trapped goats provided comic relief on a tiring day. Note to self: next time goats get stuck in the compound don’t use a mop to shoo them out

When we set our to-do list aside, we start to love people better.

Lately I have been so guilty of putting on my blinders and setting my eyes towards the task(s) at hand. So so guilty of getting frustrated when a situation arises that requires me to put my to do list aside. Ek. Real talk—it physically pains me to say that I often don’t see the person in front of me but rather the time it will take to deal with the problem...time spent away from checking things off my list. How dare I say I’m a follower of Jesus Christ and act this way? How dare I say that I’ve come to Haiti to ‘give a hand up’ and yet look past the people whose lives and problems have intersected with mine?

At the core of my project is meeting individuals and families where they are—problems and messes and pasts and broken systems and all—and working with them to find work/capital and manage their money to advance themselves and their families. My desire to focus on my lists filled with research and tasks that I think will help them over actually handling their current situation is an interesting tension inside of me.

Looking back on my college years, this selfishness defined how I lived. Reaching that 4.00 and getting some sleep was more important than loving the souls around me. Coffee shops were for getting work done, not socializing during the school year. How many relationships did I forfeit for my worldly ‘goals’? How many people did I leave thirsty for Jesus because my to do list was more important than their heart? Lord have mercy on me.

“Mizerikòd ou pap fini, Konpasyon Bondye pap fini. Li renouvle chak maten, chak maten.”

God’s mercy is as faithful as the sunrise over the mountains of Vielo chak maten

Kado epi yon prè… yo pa menm bagay

Gifts and loans…they are not the same thing. Several Americans living and working in Haiti with microfinance have advised that many locals who have worked with foreign groups before view loans from said foreign groups as gifts to be kept rather than loaned money that requires repayment. This idea of gift vs. investment is proving to be quite a sticking point in my project.

How do I best structure financial opportunities through Disciples’ Village, train and correctly utilize the local leadership, and position/communicate this project in a way that sets high expectations for ownership and good stewardship of all investments made into individuals, families, and communities? One of the last things I want is for the approaching future investments—financial, time, physical labor, human capital, etc.—to be misunderstood as gifts that will fade with time and not the true investment into a community with the hopes of seeing a return in the form of lives permanently changed for the better.

Post-meeting chalk board..while the ideas on the board might not have stuck, I pray a seed was planted and financial knowledge will grow with some watering!

Back to the Drawing Board

In the first few weeks of September, Ganaud (a brilliant interpreter) and I made several early morning treks to Disciples’ Village’s mountain community of Vielo to introduce the idea of a savings group and to get the community thinking about calculating their monthly income and expenses. All with the hopes of starting a group at the beginning of October. The idea didn’t quite catch on like I have envisioned for about a year now. In fact, the flames I was throwing fell on wet ground and now I’m waiting for the earth to dry.

In true Shersty fashion, I became a tad (read extremely) vague and big picture through excruciating detail in my presentation and neglected to speak to the audience in front of me, explaining details un-comprehendible to anyone outside of my head and ESPECIALLY to people who do not know if their next harvest will provide enough money to eat let alone save. Dr. Cornwall had warned me about that mistake before, but don’t worry—I will not forget again.

While the idea didn’t quite catch on as desired, the experience provided invaluable insight into presenting new, challenging, and different concepts to individuals with drastically different educational foundations than my own. Now I’m in the process of making necessary changes to the presentation and overall framework of the savings group to make it more attractive, understandable, and useful based upon what Vielo community members and DV staff have expressed. While the initial idea only included frequent meetings to save money that the members would ideally be earning in their current jobs, now we are looking at incorporating a combination of job creation/diversification and infrastructure improvement opportunities in addition to savings. I’m having to go back to the drawing board and dig a deeper foundation than I initially anticipated, but I truly believe that something lasting and beyond the scope of my past knowledge is on the horizon. Just. Keep. Swimming. And don’t forget to look up and love the people around you along the way.

I’m increasingly thankful for the unpleasant initial ‘no’ to my savings groups…it is reinforcing the process of dying to myself and my ideas and causing me to press into the unending mercy and wisdom found in my Lord. Long and emotionally grueling story short, I’m having to lay my pride, research, and conclusions aside and listen closer to God’s leading and the voices of those I have come to work with. That self-work is becoming increasingly important these days.

I tried to sneak a picture of the chaotic beauty of a Haitian market, a place where I’ve found some tasty foods and tough business women

“Peye nou malad”

Perhaps the most agitating ongoing situation in September has been the impossibility of planning and traveling outside of the Disciples’ Village campus/compound sporadically over the last few weeks due to protests turned demonstrations/manifestations that block the main route and transportation strikes that make it potentially dangerous to get out, all of which are in response to the president of Haiti’s proposed budget and tax increases. These demonstrations are keeping kids from school, hardworking people from their jobs, and me from meeting with people I desire to learn from and community members whose insight is essential to the forward movement of my project. In the words of our beloved grounds keeper Jean Claue, “peye nou malad,” or our country is sick. But thank the Lord for the internet that allows me to connect with people online and websites/articles with incredible information of those who have gone before me in microfinance and economic development work. I’m also indebted to our staff who keeps us informed, safe, and off of the streets when these things are going on. Thankfully there have been more clear days than those blocked, it just makes it a tad harder to plan.

Yes, Jean Claude, this country and world that we live in is sick, but in your other words uttered at the hurricanes, “Bondye pral ede nou,” God will indeed help us.

Our incredible grounds keeper, Jean Claude, helps me prepare blocks to make a rocket stove that burns fuel more efficiently

Jean Claude pouring into and loving on some sweet local little ones that pass by our campus daily

I’m continually in awe and filled with gratitude that I’m getting to learn to live, love, and work in Haiti. September brought it’s fair share of storms, but after the wind and the rain comes a glorious horizon reminding me that there is beauty in every situation. No amount of words can express how thankful I am for each day and every person who has poured into and supported me. May God’s presence be as evident in your life as it is here in Haiti. Bondye beni nou, zanmi mwen yo.

A gift of 15 avocados- one of my fav foods- that I received one afternoon! The joys of living in Haiti during avocado season!

Last week I tagged along on a trip up the mountain to Vielo where a parent meeting was scheduled before school starts the first week of September. The visit served several purposes for me, one being to talk to an awesome business woman who has established a little shop after the hardest part of the hike, the second to selfishly see and spend time with a community I have fallen in love with, and the third to sit in on some discussions regarding the school and village developments. The mid-day hike was a little toasty and more breath taking than usual but so worth it to see and learn from my friends. What stood out to me most was a conversation concerning the building of outdoor toilets for the school. After the hole had been dug progress had been halted for various reasons, and the Disciples’ Village staff and parents worked out a deal that if they provided the rocks to line the hole and build a firm foundation, we would come after them and supply the funds necessary for the blocks, cement, roof, etc. When later thinking about the agreement that was reached, I marveled at what that little building will represent. People who pass by in the future will only see a few rocks of the foundation and mainly notice the walls and roof. They will not see the hard work it took to carry the rocks up the mountain, only the finished product. It seems as though I’ve been carrying and placing rocks for the foundation for a while now, and I am elated to report that it is time to start raising up the boards for the framework!

In other words, if July was the month for climbing then August has been a month of finding a nice spot to camp out for a while and build a sturdy foundation. The past few weeks have been filled with many highlights and several low points, a variety of challenges and struggles and lessons learned and things to think about, and many works in progress, pivotal decisions, and dreams of exciting times ahead! Step by step this framework for economic development is moving forward, and soon it will be time to start using this ‘building’!

Time. Is. Absolutely. Flying. Each day brings new discoveries and jewels of information, and sometimes I feel like the more I learn the less I know. August was an especially educational month where I got to pick the brains of several people currently putting their own spin on micro finance in Haiti. They shared with me their success, their struggles, and overall invaluable information that will help maneuver past some of the hard spots to inevitably arise on my assent up the mountain of economic development. Many opportunities also arose to visit and inquire about several job creation/non-monetary loan possibilities for our communities.  With my time at Belmont, the many people who have poured into me, seemingly endless HOURS of research online and on the ground in Haiti, and the grace of God as the cornerstones, August and it’s many adventures has one by one filled in the large stones needed to get the foundation ready to be built upon! While there are still a few weak spots and details that need to be filled in, September is ready for meetings to train future savings group leaders, pre-savings group meetings to prepare and inform future group members, preparations for job creation in our communities, and business lessons upon business lessons to a wide range of audiences!

Snorkeling near islands off the coast from our compound...a fun way to enjoy the beauty of Haiti and get a nice tan while you’re at it!

Here is a (not so) brief recap (compared to all that has happened over the last 31 days) of the (sometimes not-so) glorious times August held here in Haiti!

Highlights

• Ending my 21^st circle around the sun unbelievably in awe of the past year—senior year of college, life-changing coaching staff, deciding to move to Haiti post-grad, classes that challenged me more than ever before but prepared me for the ambiguity and out-of-the-box thinking necessary for life in Haiti, seeing the fruits of planting and watering many seeds of friendship over four years of college, the beautiful exchange of knowledge through new relationships, leadership and life lessons in abundance, more mistakes made than ever before but increasingly more aware of God’s unconditional love and grace, and the list of many sweet times can go on and on. 21 was fun, and I have high expectations for 22!
• Exploring the natural beauty of Haiti via hiking and snorkeling and wishing others could and would do the same. I am far too aware of the desperate poverty that is all around me, but I greatly enjoy seeing the glorious potential the west side of Hispanola has to offer for those who look—this leads into a ‘pet peeve’ of mine: people saying ‘poor Haiti’, those ‘poor’ people, having this savior and ‘greater than’ complex about them. We are foreigners in this land. We are not Haiti’s savior—Jesus Christ is—and it is our responsibility as people seeking the best for others to invest and push Haiti forward in a way that respects and honors the natives, the culture, and the dignity of all we work with.
• “Connecting” with others in microfinance and learning about how other people are bringing about economic development all over Haiti and picking up what I think will work for our villages
• Experimenting with the fresh foods Haitian markets have to offer—lots of rice and beans, bananas, avocados, passion fruit juice, and PLANTAIN TACO SHELLS!!
• My first of many fruit-bearing trees—a mango tree of my very own!
• Becoming more conversational, hearing and understanding more Creole—leading to greater conversations with people I meet and seeing the beauty of someone light up as they tell you their story

My first mango tree!

Low Points

• A crippling ignorance displayed when many locals believed what the radio said about radiation from the eclipse burning skin if exposed. The streets were bare on a trip into Port au Prince that day.
• “Pran li! Pran li! Li pa gen fanmi. Pran li!” Or the cry “Take him! Take him! He doesn’t have family. Take him!” that met my ears in the market one day. I didn’t know whether to shake it off and laugh or to burst into tears. I’m still not sure this has been processed in my brain yet.
• The stark reality that apart from the people of Haiti coming to know Christ, I think one of the last things the enemy wants is for the economic, political, and social tides to change and the potential of Haiti to be realized and capitalized upon on a large scale. This means that with every small step closer to economic development and advancement, the push back and challenges will become greater and harder to cross. Fortunately for me, I know that the almighty God who created the world and holds it in His hands is on my side fighting for the people of Haiti. There is no darkness that the light of Christ cannot illuminate, and there is no evil that God’s goodness cannot overcome. No swollen face will stop me, no anxious thoughts of doubt will keep me from pushing forward with the help and grace of God alone.

Challenges/Struggles

• ­Minor yet annoying physical ailments like inexplicable rashes and an unattractive reaction to mosquito bites on my face—I can handle a lot of annoyances that pop up on my skin from time to time because well, Haiti, but something about my face being slightly distorted cuts to the core of my fear of my face never looking the same.
• The realization that I was not returning to Belmont at the end of August—strange mixture of longing for the school and people I love, thankful for what my time at Belmont taught me, and looking forward to continuing to use the knowledge that was abundantly poured into me
• Deciding on best action for the implementation of chicken coops in one of our villages—it’s a good thing I learned how to research, calculate, and forecast expenses and revenues in Entrepreneurial Financial Management and think through market ‘pain’, proof of concept, and operational plans in Venture Planning! My fellow Belmont entrepreneurship students will understand.

The passion fruit that soon became juice- a great addition to breakfast for dinner!

Lessons Learned

• Individual, institution, industry, infrastructure, and investment breakthrough—finally realizing the need for simultaneous advancement in all of these areas and how the progress of one can be hindered by the stagnant or declining state of another.
• Cannot have a 4.0 in every area of life- a 4.0 in economic development means many relationships and potential experiences will suffer—I’m forever having to be reminded of this lesson.
• It’s extremely difficult and seemingly silly to let go of “good” things in life when they are keeping you from what is “best” even though you might not see it yet
• What goal setting looks like outside of the and arena of athletic and academic competition—planning on what I want to accomplish before the end of the year
• Meetings with parents of DV school students—evident that they have no concept of saving money, preparing for future needs, etc.—CANNOT SAY NEED FOR SAVINGS GROUP ANY LOUDER
• DO NOT ASSUME that people in Haiti will react the way you would react, think through things the way you would think, take initiative, etc.

Things to Think About

• Talked to a friend who grew up in Haiti and had recently visited the Virgin Islands—this conversation got me thinking about the similarities and differences of the two Caribbean nations and wondering how the VI progressed the way it did, and how can that be replicated in Haiti? Maybe this has much to do with the initial ownership of the islands and the possibility of investments that have been made
• Idea of non-monetary loans through physical and human capital investments—building bread oven and ‘loaning’ flour, making a way for sewing lessons and ‘loaning’ sewing machines and necessary supplies, working together to build chicken coops and ‘loaning’ chickens, feed, and coop—all to be repaid with profits made from new jobs. Ideally this could kill two birds with one stone, the necessary investments into economy and the jobs to put them into.
• Have successful business people in Haiti come to lessons to share their knowledge, experiences, and overcoming of obstacles

A community bread oven that creates jobs through flour ‘loans’ to be repaid with profits earned

Works in Progress

• ­Preparing to teach basic business and finance lessons through DV adult education program
• Teaching leadership and business lessons at Alex’s House for interested staff and kiddos
• Analyzing the financial cost and impact of chicken coops in a partnering village, and thinking though a maintenance plan to ensure sustainability
• Laying the foundation for Savings Groups in Vielo—talked with DV director, pastor, and principle in Vielo to get permission, outlined expectations and benefits, wrote out timeline of events, to begin recruiting members and training leaders in September to have this thing off the ground the first week of October

Thank you, Lord, for interpreters willing to sit with me for hours to translate savings group documents into Haitian Creole

Whew! What a month! If you made it to the end of all of that craziness, thanks for sticking with it and I appreciate the time you took to read about what I have been learning and experiencing. None of this would be possible without the support of Lumos, the guidance of Bill, Steve and many others at Disciples’ Village, the many translators who are willing to work closely with my project, my extraordinary family and friends for encouraging the pursuit of my dreams, and above all the amazing grace and unconditional love of my unbelievably mighty God. No amount of thanks can do justice for what I feel for all who have walked with me this far. If this is a glimpse into what the next two years of my life will hold, I cannot wait to continue building upon the mountain of micro finance and enjoy the view along the way.

The beginning of the hike to Vielo.. this will become a familiar view in the coming months!

“Bonjou!”

Good morning!

“Bonjou!”

Good morning!

“Koman ou ye?”

How are you?

“M’ byen! N’ap monte!”

I’m well! We’re climging!

“Wi! N’ap mounte!”

Yes! We’re climbing!

One thing I’ve learned in my time abroad is that Haitians will often state the obvious when trying to be friendly in passing conversations. The beginning of the month was filled with several hikes up to Disciples’ Village’s partnering village of Vielo to conduct the census of our stunning mountain village. Each hike consisted of dozens of encounters closely relating to the one above. At first I was confused as to why each individual we passed felt the need to remind us that we were climbing (and sometimes crawling), but then I grew to appreciate the reminder that as long as we were climbing we were doing okay. Being stagnant or falling down the mountain would be worrisome.

The beginnings of the hike to Vielo include walking along the aqueduct at the base of the mountain...a place of many greetings in passing and conversations while washing clothes.

Developing a microfinance program is a lot like climbing a mountain. It’s energizing yet exhausting, glorious yet sweaty and dirty, breath-taking in many definitions of the word, and ambiguous yet filled with a few distinctive paths. Sometimes you have to stop and catch your breath mid-assent while other times you push through until an obvious stopping point is reached, and sometimes what you’re doing isn’t working and you have to climb back down a little ways to try a different path that will take you higher and closer to your goal. Similarly to looking up the face of a mountain and wondering how on earth we will reach the top, when talking to the leaders in our villages I often find myself struck with the magnitude of the need, the difficult circumstances, and seemingly impossibility of the task at hand. The specific needs for microfinance in our communities looks vastly different, and there are many paths to choose when climbing the mountain of microfinance—but what beauty there is to behold with every step!

A picture of some time spend with Ganaud- a house parent for Alex’s House, translator who speaks 6 languages, an accounting graduate and former business professor-chatting about business in Haiti and what the people need to know to be successful.

July was an exciting and insightful month here in Haiti! We finished the census of our final partnering villages at the beginning of the month, and I have begun to compile an analysis with recommendations from research and census findings of our partnering villages. Completing the censuses also brought about a lot of helpful information about job and financial opportunities in our partnering villages. In Trouforban there is a small variety of employment options and an abundance of unemployment. Vielo has an overwhelming majority of farmers and a few residents not working because they are too old. Each village has its own challenges, needs, and opportunities, and I look forward to continuing to build relationships with individuals in our communities while gearing up to start a combination of business training, potential micro loans, and savings opportunities as part of our microfinance offerings in the very near future!

Post work week patè! A fried shell with meat, vegetables, and some sauce inside served with pikliz- a spicy Haitian side that resembles slaw

Two of the teams I worked with at the end of the month spent a week in the village they are partnered with, and I had the joy of getting to build relationships with the children’s leaders in Trouforban (TFB) and some of the women in Dahl. They all provided helpful information to keep me walking towards what microfinance will look like for Disciples’ Village.  In TFB several children’s leaders own small businesses and offered insight on the size and terms of loans needed, shared their interest in business training and development, savings opportunities, etc, and several expressed their desire for a job and some skills they know or would be willing to learn. Dahl on the other hand has a bleak environment for jobs, especially for the women. Of the 12 individuals I talked to, many are willing to learn to sew/other skills and expressed that they could benefit from business training.

These lovely leaders and business people in Trouforban provided an abundance of pertinent information about savings and business in the area!

Perhaps the greatest advancement in July was getting to converse with people on the ground in Haiti who have been doing microfinance for several years and tagging along to a monthly meeting for their organization, Kodinasyon Fanm Endepandan Pou Avansman Lakay (KOFAEL). The experience taught me about the logistics and relational aspects of what makes microfinance successful here, including keys to necessary leadership, characteristics of participants, structure of monthly meeting, handling loan and repayment transactions, needed capital for loans, loan sizes, interest rates, and repayment schedules. It was exciting to observe all that I have researched in action, and I’m forever grateful to have met people who are willing to share their knowledge and have many experiences to be learned from. My greatest takeaway is that successful microfinance is often dependent on relationships, relationships, relationships…which was exciting to hear because relationship building is a large part of what I’ve been doing these past few months in our partnering villages! They are essential to the foundational trust and transactional nature of microfinance, and I’m fortunate to have some pretty cool and dedicated people to get to work with over the next few years.

The ‘courtyard’ of a home in Port au Price where a microfinance group meets once a month to share stories of business, encourage one another, and provide proof of loan repayment

The month of July also brought a new understanding of my ‘why’ for my time in Haiti. My softball coach at Belmont, Brian Levin, introduced to me and my teammates the saying, “If you know your ‘why’ you’ll find a way ‘how’”. And although my ‘why’ for life has been pretty evident for a while, a shift in focus from orphan care to orphan prevention—especially through economic development—has brought a burning desire to keep as many children in homes with good parents as possible in my work specific ‘why’. Haiti has an abundance of poverty orphans—children who have at least one living parent—who are in orphanages because their family loves them tremendously but cannot provide for their needs. It is my heart’s desire to see children reunited with their families and to live the way God designed for people to be raised, and it gives me chills to think of the possibilities and opportunities microfinance provides for mothers and fathers to care for their children. Now that I’ve narrowed in on my ‘why’, I trust that it will not be long until the ‘how’ shows itself if I keep seeking, keep building relationships, and keep trusting in our mighty God for guidance.

After speaking with a leader in Barboncourt about banking and business I snuck away to say hello to his daughter and one of my favorite little Haitian ladies...isn’t she beautiful?!

Once again I end the month in awe of the opportunity, challenge, and excitement that presents itself in the task ahead. I’m thankful for answered prayers and new findings in the world of microfinance in Haiti, and I’m ever expectant for what will emerge in the coming weeks, months, and years with a combination of a little blood, lots of sweat, and a few tears covered by the grace of God.

This past weekend while roaming around Port au Price running errands, we (Bill- founder and President of Disciples’ Village, Jennifer- his sweet wife, and myself) got a little turned around when trying to get back to the main road from Papillion Enterprise. Bill was looking at the outdated and incorrect Google maps app on his phone, Jennifer was looking for familiar landmarks, and I was no help sitting in the back seat thinking that street signs and an accurate map would be extremely useful as this point in time. I was aimlessly looking around, completely uncertain of our location, and increasingly aware of the absence of street signs that we so desperately needed to guide us on our way. The lack of street signs telling us where we were, where we were heading, and a map indicating street by street where we needed to go increased the difficulty of the unknown and made getting to our destination rather difficult.

Our little 10 minute detour drove home a potent point relating to my situation in Haiti right now—there are no obvious street signs or map to guide me in how to develop this micro finance project, no official sign of where I’m at or where I’m going, and no step by step directions to tell me the best way to attain sustainable economic development in our partnering villages. While there is an abundance of research and past/current programs to be observed, no two villages and needs are the same. But what I do know is that I must keep driving, keep researching, keep talking to community members and leaders, keep finding my way and above all keep praying for direction, guidance, and clarity in this exciting adventure of a project.

The stunning view from outside a home of one family in Disciples’ Village’s partnering village of Trouforban. The ocean...the mountains...the people...it doesn’t get much better than this!

These past six weeks have felt like six days, and they have been filled with an abundance of growing experiences and insightful information about living in Haiti and the specific economic needs/current resources of Disciples’ Village’s partnering communities. With the help of several teams, some of my interns/associates and Haitian community members/leaders, we have collected a complete census of three of our four partnering villages and are halfway through the fourth community. The census allows Disciples’ Village to have an updated record of who is in our villages we partner with, what work they are doing, the education level of each family member, health needs, and living situations (house conditions, access to food/water, etc.) among other things. Through the census I have also been collecting information on families’ access to banks (savings, loans, etc.) in the area, how individuals are earning their income, what their business interests are (starting a business or investing in a current one), what challenges they face in starting a business in their village, and the physical, natural, and human capital of the area and families.

The school, meeting places, and church in Trouforban

Participating in collecting the census has been beneficial in multiple areas of my project. This time has been spent getting to meet and build relationships with potential participants in Disciples’ Village’s up-and-coming micro finance program, hearing their stories while learning of their specific needs and what they are interested in. My understanding and speaking of Creole has also drastically improved through asking questions and listening to answers and only asking the translator for help on occasion or when the information is too important for me to translate incorrectly.

Most important to my project, the census is shifting my project and business model/plan from being assumption-based to being able to incorporate the real and difficult truths of the needs of our Haitian villages. While the research and planning I had done prior to moving to Haiti has been useful in knowing what to be looking for in our communities and has given a vague direction of what methods of economic development have been successful for developing countries in the past, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute lack of access to an economic infrastructure relating to banking systems and the absence of micro enterprises for micro loans to even be effective with the possibility of being repaid. Fortunately for me, “From Dependency to Dignity” by the Chalmers Center outlines what methods of economic development best aid the differing levels of poverty and this will help in knowing what direction to go in once the census of our fourth and final partnering village is completed.

The outdoor kitchen of a home overlooking the ocean. The kind owner of the kitchen reminded us of the need for jobs in her community.

Potentially the greatest challenge facing me right now is the drastic difference in the needs of each community. On one end of the spectrum we have one village consisting of farming jobs only 3-5 months out of the year with dirt and rock huts for shelter, and on the other end we have a village with many construction and masonry jobs where some residents have a car parked inside of a solid wall surrounding their multi-room, concrete home. All are in need of access to savings, loans, and business skill training but all are in different current income brackets and varying levels of foundational knowledge to get them on their way to a more stable economic position. In the words of Dr. Cornwall and Shawn Glinter, I can find myself trying to boil the ocean—or trying to pursue too many opportunities rather than focusing on one specific need of one level of poverty and developing a solution for it. The need is so vast and my time is so short in the grand scheme of things…I’m continually praying for God to provide a pillar of fire to lead me in the exact direction He would have me to go to make the greatest impact for the greatest number of people. People in each of our villages could use a variety or combination of savings and credit associations, micro loans, business development training, and job creation among other economic development opportunities.

The questions I’m faced with now are who will I choose to me my target market and customer? And what method of economic development most closely meets their needs that I’ve learned through the census?

In addition to gathering business and banking opportunity information from the census, I’ve had the chance to speak with several leaders and pastors in our partnering communities to get a feel for what they see as the needs and resources of their communities. It has been interesting to compare what they say to the information we’re getting from the families themselves. These leaders will be essential in the successful implementation of our micro finance program in our communities, and it has been a joy to get to know them and the people they serve.

One of the community leaders/pastor in our partnering village of Barboncourt. His smile is a light in the darkness of Haiti and I always look forward to visiting his village and enjoying the avocados, coconuts, and canips that grow there.

The beginning of my time in Haiti has brought many joys and many challenges. With the help of Disciple’s Village leadership, each day I’m learning more about Haitian culture and the essentials for living and leading in Haiti. At times I have found myself frustrated with the difficulty of communicating with our Haitian staff due to the differing individualist/collectivist styles of speech, and I have learned enough Creole to know that our translators are not always correct—presenting difficulty when asking questions and receiving answers in our villages. It has also become evident that absolutely everything takes longer in Haiti, partly because of the many communication barriers and mainly due to random incidents that need to be resolved or that call for improvisation.

A sweet view leading to a sweeter conversation with a family living on the side of a mountain in Viello.

Living in Haiti has also brought many fun adventures and neat learning experiences in addition to microfinance. Hiking has highlighted many weekends and brought (literally and figuratively) breath-taking views as well as precious time spent with many people in Haiti that I love and am learning from. My favorite hike to date began at 6:30 AM to avoid the market traffic on our way to census a mountain village called Viello. We watched the sun rise over the mountains and had the chance to greet the sweet people hiking down to the market to sell their produce. Not only did I get to enjoy the hike up the mountain, but the community members proved to be very entrepreneurial and eager to invest more into their businesses and farming. Several weeks back I also got to tag along on a trip to see and tour a medical and dental clinic down the road where many Haitians are getting the care they need while providing jobs and training for other Haitians. We got to see the behind-the-scenes storage rooms, peak into the dental clinic, walk through the workrooms where prosthetics are built, and step into a fully equipped operating room—bringing joy to see first hand that Haitians are being trained in a variety of medical fields and using their knowledge to help their people.

Climbing to Viello was highlighted by the sun gracefully rising over the mountains and the cool water to refresh our feet.

To quote Switchfoot, “This is home, now I’m finally where I belong.” The peace that fills my soul and the joy that flows from my heart in both the good and the bad are reminders that I am exactly where I need to be at this time of my life. The lessons I’ve learned about life, economic development, and learning/living/leading in a foreign culture will stay with me for decades to come. I’ve been brought to a spiritual, intellectual, and cultural place of weakness, and that is where I know that Christ’s grace and power will be made perfect in and through me (2 Corinthians 12:9). Each day brings new situations requiring wisdom, clarity, and boldness far beyond what I currently possess, and I am being stretched and grown more than ever. I cannot wait to see what will become of this next month, six months, and two years, and I am ecstatic to continue driving on and creating my own map in the land of micro finance in Haiti.

A post-census snuggle with one of the cutest babies in Trouforban. One of the best parts of completing the census is building relationships with the loving families!

Bonswa tout moun! Good afternoon everyone!

What an exciting past 10 days in the beautiful country of Haiti it has been! My first successful bartering experience in Creole went down, in which I acquired four avocados and four limes for 120 Haitian gourdes (just under 2 USD)...although a week later I’m still trying to figure out if that is a good price or not for a wannabe local. I have also figured out (with a little help) how to turn my Haitian phone into a hotspot! Thank the Lord for the small victories in my time here so far.

A few of my bartering prizes

And even more exciting to report, this past week I spent four days with a team in two local partnering communities updating Disciples’ Village’s census of the area while getting to ask financial/economic questions and building relationships with the sweet people. The financial findings were eye opening and highly informative for my microfinance project. The census helped bring to light the people’s banking, saving, and borrowing activities or greater lack thereof.

The two villages were drastically different—one consisting of subsistence melon farmers living in meager stick and mud shelters with the other located within a high concentration of plantain farms and concrete blocking activities accompanied by more stable housing structures. While I am not sure if my project will focus on either of these two communities, I am learning a great deal about what questions to ask and how to phrase them to get the most pertinent information. In my continued research, I have also learned of more specific questions that I need to be asking with a greater focus on the need for loans and savings options rather than just their savings and borrowing history. In addition to the field experience I gained this week, in the mornings—while sipping fantastic Haitian coffee—I have been reading From Dependence to Dignity (Fikkert and Mask, 2015) and my eyes are being opened to the good, the bad, and what could be better through microfinance and savings and credit associations around the world. I hope to report more on the gems found in this book upon its completion.

This trail led to several of the families’ houses...lots of rough terrain but the relationships and beauty were worth it!

The time spent in the communities has also been helpful in progressing my Creole! While I can usually talk to most children and teenagers with ease, conducting the census greatly helped with my communication amongst the adult population and the vocabulary that they use. I am so thankful for our translators and the community members who patiently work with me in my quest to become fluent. It will be easier and more beneficial for my project in the future if I can communicate with the Haitians myself and know exactly what is being said in the verbal transaction. Not only will it save precious time in the villages, but I believe it will build a greater trust and bond necessary for acceptance and inclusion for this blanc (although my skin is darkening with each passing day!) in the villages.

On a more personal note, I have had a blast getting to see my beloved Haitian friends who have become family and am enjoying the ‘perks’ of living in a Caribbean state. Getting to run early in the mornings while the sun is rising over the mountains is an experience like no other, and the breath-taking ocean and mountain ridges that continually surround us provide a sense of peace and awe in the presence of our Creator’s works of art. Fresh guacamole with Haitian-grown avocado and lime has been a highlight of my dining experiences, and the ocean’s salt water is the perfect frizz-free gel replacement for my curly hair. While the terrain can be difficult to navigate and the sun may be oppressive from time to time, I’m enjoying the many adjustments of this international move and am highly expectant for what will become of my microfinance project!

The sunrise over the mountains after a challenging morning run! Such beauty to behold! 

In roughly 24 hours my plane will be landing in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. What?!

It feels like just a few weeks ago I joyfully (and slightly naively) agreed to oversee the development and implementation of Disciples’ Village’s microfinance initiative in August/September…there is no way it is time to leave already! While I cannot fathom where the time has gone, my final year at Belmont has been a compilation of the most glorious, challenging, and growing experiences and times of my life thus far. I left Belmont full of more awareness, friendships, love and gratitude than I can express in words and with a deep appreciation for the lives, wisdom, and beauty all around me.

Specifically pertaining to my microfinance project, door after door has been blown open these past few months and I have had the honor and joy of meeting SO MANY PEOPLE who have graciously taken the time to invest in me, in my project, and to offer their expertise and support in any and all of my endeavors in Haiti. I had no idea how many people in the Belmont family were connected to Haiti and microfinance in some way and am forever grateful for the community of support that has surrounded me. While I am potentially becoming more aware of what I have yet to learn than actually learning about intercultural microfinance and Haitian culture, the amount of Belmont faculty and administration, Lumos Travel Award affiliates, athletic department administration, Belmont Softball program members, friends, and family who have offered the continuation of their assistance is truly remarkable. I greatly look forward to getting in the Haitian communities and putting the hundreds of hours of research, information, and advise to work!

These last few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind of final projects, graduation activities, softball conference tournament, many see-you-laters, and Haiti preparation. The variety and severity of emotions experienced is inexpressible, but I have never felt such peace, joy, gratitude and excitement (with a little terror mixed in every now and then) than I do right now about what is to come with microfinance in Haiti.

Fortunately for me, sass translates well in Haitian Creole. Here’s a snapshot of the gorgeous hike to Viello.

Signing off from the USA and N’ap pale pita nan Ayiti (We’ll talk later in Haiti)!